Am I crossing a line?

[bright sparks]

Nope not crossing the line at all. Your house, your rules. I discipline all my daycare kids here and the parents are fully aware of my policy from day one. It is mainly because they don't and I found that the parents get the message very quickly that they need to be firmer. I make a point of dealing with scenarios where a parent "asks" a child to do something and they respond with defiance or "NO!" with a very quick " I don't believe it was a request, do as you are told please."

I have a constant issue with my AP child and his mother. She makes everything into a positive thing, excusing everything, and literally everything she says to her son is like a "pretty little song" Gahhh I want to scream at her sometimes lol When she drops off, his bottom lip comes out and his eyes fill up. She is generally good now at leaving him quickly but she always verbalizes "Oh you are going to cry so I'll go" Seriously lady, he is a little guy, 16 mths, but not stupid, so don't say that. He feels your anxieties!! Yesterday she texts me saying how she handled it poorly and should have stayed and comforted him. Well I thought if you are going to text this to me, then you are going to have to deal with my response. I told her that leaving quickly was the best thing for him so he could transition into the group as soon as possible and that staying would have only escalated things. I went on to tell her that she needs to ignore his response because any kind of acknowledgement or verbal anticipation of him becoming upset is likely going to make it worse. She never responded, dad picked up and dad dropped off this morning with no bottom lip and a nice happy bye bye and a wave. Dad understands that she is a problem with her approach to parenting but obviously wants an easy life from HER even if it means they don't have an easy life with their child. This is the kid who is allowed to pull his mums top down and breastfeed on demand at any time, even at pick up in my house and she laughs at him as though it is cute. Hey lady, be a frickin adult and parent the child. He is clearly in charge of calling the shots in the household. These types of parents drive me round the bend at times because you are right, we have to deal with the aftermath of their undoing and this kind of behaviour is what is making my daycare day so bloody disruptive because this child can not and does not get this kind of treatment at my house. Some people!!

[torontokids]

Thanks everyone.

Another question. I chatted with the mom this morning and asked her to get their stuff from inside the daycare before coming to see them in the backyard and she agreed. I also checked in re: tantrum yesterday and she said she was fine 2 mins later. This kid has these big fits and turns it on/off like a faucet. Her emotional regulation seems pretty low at times more in line with a 2 yr old!

Today, she was told that another girl gets a chance to wear the one costume she had been wearing all morning (it was put away as we were doing a craft). She flipped out and carried on and screamed/cried for close to 10 mins. I separated her and let her have her meltdown but it was pretty ridiculous.

Questions:
1) How much of this is just 3/4 yr old little girl behaviour? I ask this because my daughter who is now 4 started doing this as well but I wonder if it is "just a phase" or a learned behaviour from DCG?

2) What else can I do to curb this behaviour? I find all the kids are a bit more "dramatic" these days and blow up over little things that used to not bother them.

3) Should I have a meeting with the parents of DCG or just do what I need to do and continue to discipline her in front of her parents??