Daycare Parent's separation is affecting me

[Daisy123]

I agree that it shouldn't affect your business. My only input if I may is, although you don't need to know details of arrangements etc, have something legal in sight about who is allowed access on what days. If mom or dad give agreement for complete access by the other that's great but you don't want to be in a situation where the child goes home with the wrong parent and you get blamed. When I worked in a school (I wasn't the adult in charge thank goodness) there was a little girl who's parents had split custody. After a year end concert the wrong parent picked up the child and ran. I never saw her again. Not saying that this would ever happen but better safe than sorry. I had a child in my care last year with split parents and they had no problem with showing me the piece of paper that stated when each had access. Then I could at least say that I had knowledge. I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything but you need to know what to do if the wrong parent tries to pick up. Can you legally send them on their way? I'm not sure.

[MonkeyPrincess]

Oh I get where you are coming from and I don't think you are being dramatic, it being cautious and prepared, right? I am one to have things in writing. I have requested that he provide me with a copy of the separation agreement where it states who has her on which days. He hasn't given me it yet. From what I understand, legally I can't keep the away from the other parent unless I have a copy of a court order saying so. If I with hold the child, from the other parent, I can be charged with unlawful confinement or something like that.

[MonkeyPrincess]

So this week i have the DCG and the DCdad told me again that the mom is still insisting on having the child on an extra day out of her father's custody weeks, and really wanting her way. It will mean reducing the DCdad's need for daycare by an extra day, therefore reducing my income. I told him that we signed a contract for set days and fees and i won't be making any changes after we just resigned a new contract. besides, The child is going thru so many changes and she needs to keep her routines.

He has asked me to e-mail him (because any requests, amendments, temp changes, etc have to be done in writing) how the changes would affect me and my business and his child so he can forward to the child's mom- He thinks she would stop asking if i presented something in writing against. I have a draft but haven't actually sent the e-mail. What would you say in the e-mail? I have touched on 1) how we have already have the contract made for set days and times, 2) How the changes could affect the child and how she could fall out of routine, 3) my income will decrease and i am not willing to take a paycut and i am not making any further concessions. Anything else?

[mickyc]

Personally I think they are involving you too much in their affairs. Bottom line is he pays you for the days you have agreed on and if the child is not there then whatever-it doesn't matter where she is. Sorry to say but the courts don't care about routine and likely mom will get her way anyways. I would take a step back and distance yourself from the drama. Tell dad your fee is your fee no matter when the child attends and that is it. No letter and don't get involved.

[Wonderwiper]

I agree with Mickyc, it's not your battle and Dad should not involve you. If they have a legal agreement stating who has the kids when, why does dad need to give in to Moms demand for an extra day?

IMO, he pays for the agreed upon days or moves on.

[Secondtimearound]

I was going to say the same thing !! I would probably having a conversation or send a text to both stating they need to get their schedules in order without your involvement ! I would also state the contract signed was for four days a week and if that is breached it is cause for termination ! So you can fill the spot with what you would like instead of waiting for them to decide what they want !!
I'm sorry but I would not be sympathetic to a man who is telling all his business and making mom out to be the bad guy ( not saying she isn't ! But this is entirely too much information )

[5 Little Monkeys]

Since all requests need to be done in writing, I would email the dad stating that this is the contract we have agreed on and these days need to be paid regardless of the child's attendance. I would touch briefly on the importance of this for the child's well being as well as for your business. I would state that if this contract is no longer working for the family, that you will need notice of their termination.

If dad decides to show mom the email, that is up to him but at least you have in writing the dialogue between you and dad and the consequence for not adhering to the contract.