Lee-Bee I love that you say "you need to explicitly state what you want". I am finding that I need to be comfortable reminding parents politely that 'at our house we...'. If I let things go, then I resent it, and I can't expect them to remember everything or be perfect all the time. It's human nature to do what's easy and comfortable, so I have to remind them what I expect. I find it incredibly hard to remind parents though! I'm much better with their children.