Lot's of big changes a head...maybe

[torontokids]

I just need to vent. I can't really talk about this with friends and my family all has so much on their own plates, this feels safer and less intrusive.

I am feeling so overwhelmed at the moment and I don't know what to do. I am greatly effected during my day and I feel the kids are feeling it as I am less patient, not really enjoying my days and I am less fun.

My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's 2 months a go. It is hitting him pretty fast and this has definitely put an "expiry date" on my parents who are my world. To top it off my 3 wk old nephew was just diagnosed with a rare type of Cystic Fibrosis that isn't normally caught on the newborn screening and my children also need to be tested as there is a possibility my kids have the disease as well and it just hasn't shown yet (they are only 4 and 2 which is normally when it emerges if not caught on newborn screening). I have already convinced myself that this is not possible as my girls appear so healthy but it is a nagging problem for me.

My family is really coming together and there have been a lot of get togethers etc which has been really nice and helping me to deal with all that is going on.

I live pretty far from my family (2 hrs) enough that we can't see them everyday. An opportunity has come up for a position near my parents for my husband which he interviews for today. If he is successful we will also need to prepare our house to sell it and move. My daughter starts kindergarten in Sept so it would be ideal for her to start in her new school but this may not be possible. A move will also mean closing up shop for me which I am fine with (only doing this to be with my kids). The perk of all this is we are selling a house in a hot Toronto market and moving to small town Ontario which means we should have enough equity to stay at home with my kids until the little one starts kindergarten and possibly have more kids.

My car is dying a slow death and we are trying to buy a new used one...this is proving hard within our budget but also time frame to car shop etc.

We may need to put our 9 yr old dog down as well. She's not doing well anymore.

My sister is pregnant and not doing well. She is off work and she is likely going to have a premature baby.

I just need something to give a little so I can breath...Just so many major life changes all happening at once and everything needs to be reacted/dealt with immediately which is just stressing me out.

I have started doing little repairs around the house to fix it up in case we need to sell but I am hanging on by a thin thread some days.

To top to off, it's my birthday and the kids are big dramatic messes...I tried to do something fun today but it was an epic failure. They have been difficult for the last little while, I think since I found out about my dad/nephew. They are feeding off my mood and I don't know how to stop it...

[jodaycare]

First of all, just try to breathe! I know how cliche that sounds but it will do you the world of good. Second, I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with SOOO much all at once. I can't offer much advice other that to try to take one step at a time and deal with each step the best you can. I hope things settle down for you. Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

[Fun&care]

OMG Torontokids! You really have a lot on your plate. I got overwhelmed just reading your post. I would really be stressing out too if I were in your shoes. I don't have a ton of advice other than to take it one day at a time. You don't know what the future holds so try not to spend too much time in it. See what you can do today about any of these situations and if the answer is "nothing" than so be it...everything will play out in time.

You have every right to slow things down on the daycare front and maybe just take it easy for a while so you can cope...remember to take care of yourself. Kids definitely feed on stress, I've noticed it many times so the most important thing to do is take care of YOU so you can better care for everyone else.

Big big hugs to you Torontokids

[cfred]

First, try to have a happy birthday. Sucks when all this muck is going on around you. Maybe you and hubby could get out for a brief respite from the world this wknd...as a little something to look forward to? So sorry to hear about you dad and I really hope your husband gets the job. Small town life can be quite lovely. I grew up in Cobourg and it was a good childhood If you do have to move and the times don't mesh for your daughter with regards to school, who says you have to put her in anyway? Kindergarten is optional and there's no legal or academic reason that she can't wait a bit. I held my daughter back a few months when I moved from Cobourg to Stouffville for the exact same reason. It just didn't mesh well and I didn't want to put her in one school only to pull her out again to start again somewhere else.

It sounds like you certainly have a lot on your mind with lots of other people's problems. That can be the worst as, really, there's not much you can do other than worry and stew. Try to have some things to look forward to that are pleasant, you enjoy and are all about you and your family. There's no reason you can't take it easy with the daycare too. A lot of free play in the summer isn't necessarily a bad thing. Chin up

[mickyc]

Oh I hear you! I went through the same thing as you (see my threat How to get back to the happy me). I was feeling beaten down and depressed. Seemed to take one step forward and two steps back. All I can say is hang in, it will get better. I am a worrier and stress about everything so I know exactly how you feel. We had our basement flood and had to move daycare upstairs. It hasn't been ideal but we are managing. I have no idea when my basement will be finished - at this rate it won't be until Christmas. We have decided to not sell our home and likely stay put.

My advice to you is just be lazy! Let the kids free play/entertain themselves when you just can't do it. We are human and we don't have to be super daycare provider all the time. Try and take one day at a time. We are all here for you!

[CrazyEight]

If you move, where are you moving to? I am in a small city about 2 hours outside of Toronto...even if I'm not near you, maybe some of us here are - I know I'd help you out any way I could if you move here!

[bright sparks]

I am so so sorry for all that is your life right now. It is one thing to have multiple sources of upheaval and stress in your life but to have poor health in family members and the possibility of some underlying issues with your kiddos is more stressful than many of us can imagine. I am sending you virtual hugs and positive energy and strength. I would say that taking care of you right now is very important. I am sure that sounds like a bit of a ridiculous possibility, but if you can squeeze in some time for self-care, it will likely have a positive effect on your daycare group and will make coping with life right now a little less trying. It sounds like although there is a lot going on, you do have a seemingly good handle on things, thinking about different potential outcomes and what you can do ahead of time to deal with them. The move sounds like a good plan, and while moving is stressful, once you have made the move no more daycare means that you can focus on your family not everyone else. Your daughter can register in kindergarten and attend even prior to the move if you have a signed sale agreement. That is what we did when coming to Canada as amidst us finding a home and moving in, it was important to get our children settled and into a routine as quickly as possible.

Please keep us informed as to how everyone is doing....vent away, whatever you need, whenever you need it, that is what we are here for. Be Well

[torontokids]

Thanks for the encouragement and suggestions. Sometimes just the act of typing it out helps tremendously, therapeutic sort of like journal writing.

My family lives in the KW/Wellsley area. We are looking at moving to Stratford.

[torontokids]

I have been taking it easier for sure but this can contribute to stress as well e.g. you start to fret about all that I need to do for the sale of the house.

I think having so many unknowns at the moment is making things harder because it can be hard to focus what little energy you have on the important stuff when you don't know what it is. I have been trying to focus more on spending time with my extended family which has been beneficial for sure.

I have not done any real programming since I found out and we have been spending our days in the backyard as park trips are just too stressful sometimes. Meals have been really simple and we have even had repeats 2 days in a row and I don't care.

[torontokids]

One of the hardest things of all is my husband could not get this job. If this happens then there won't be another opportunity to move close to my family (in his field) for who knows how long. This is the first job posting he has seen ever. I think part of it is I have resigned myself to moving so I have partially "checked out" of daycare as well. I have a spot opening in Sept and I am not trying to fill it even though I have inquiries. I don't want to screw over somebody and i just don't have the energy to interview.