Help Needed with Letter to Parents!

[CrazyEight]

I have a bit of a conundrum I hope you ladies can help me with.

I have posted before about an almost 4-yr-old dcg who seems to have some cognitive and intellectual delays. Part of that post (which I now can't seem to find!) was the parents' attitude towards me. They are definitely the "you work for us" type, and show me little respect. Nothing too major to make me terminate them, but enough to get me peeved on a regular basis (eg, showing up 20-30 minutes late with no notice, when they know we normally head out to the park right away when it's not so hot, dcg arriving with no hat or sunscreen, etc)

So basically, they are being mildly difficult, and dcg has some issues, but I have only had to terminate for extreme behaviour issues in the past, and when compared to that, this is nothing.

Now though, they've pushed me over the edge and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Dcg started with me about 3 months ago. We agreed to part-time of 3 days/week to start, to increase to full-time in the summer and continue to 5 days/week b/a school care starting in September.

I had to remind them at the end of June that I was expecting dcg to start full-time starting June 30, the Monday of the first week of July. They spun me a sob story about how mom's hours were being cut at work, and she doesn't get paid for the holiday, so can she start full-time the following week (last week). I reluctantly agreed, she came M-Th last week, then Thursday at pickup I was informed that dcg was going camping with her grandparents and wouldn't be here on Friday. I should have put my foot down then, but stupidly let it go, figuring hey, my other part-timer isn't coming on Friday, I can have an easy end to the week, it's worth it to me.

Last night I get an email from dcm, saying her hours have been cut to 10 hours a week, and A) dcg won't be coming Monday (today) because mom works 3-9pm and they only have one vehicle, so pickup from daycare won't work. (I should add that dad works from home, and apparently can manage to work with 2 kids running around...somehow) and B) that because of mom's cut in hours, they want to go back to 3 days/week "until mom gets more hours"

I was so pissed I decided to give it the night and email back today after I had thought of an appropriate response. Then dad calls me at 9am this morning, JUST as we're heading out the door to go to the playground. He knows full well I have a house full, and my guess is that he chose that time in order to ambush me a bit. He says he wants to make sure I got the email, and tells me what 3 days they're coming this week (I have allowed them to choose which 3 days unless I got an enquiry for another part-timer who needed specific days)

I would dearly love to terminate them for going back on our agreement that is spelled out in the contract, but frankly, I can't afford to. I unexpectedly lost another dcg 3 weeks ago due to the family having to move at the last minute, and I haven't been able to fill her spot yet. I also have another spot opening in September, and only have a possible lead to fill it. We are taking holidays next month for 2 weeks, where I won't be getting paid, and wages for 3 days/week are better than having 2 empty spots right now.

I want to send a firm, pissed-but-professional email saying that they can go to part-time, but they are giving up their right to choose their days if I get another part-timer, and also that if I find a full-time child, they will either have to pay for a full-time spot or give up their spot entirely, as I wouldn't have agreed to part-time if it wasn't a temporary thing, and I certainly can't afford to have a 3 days/week b/a school child.

I'm tired, I'm pissed, and I'm done with them trying to walk all over me. I am aware they may leave if I send the above letter, and if so, fine. I can't in good conscience give them up voluntarily though, because new clients are SO hard to find here atm, and I already have another spot opening in September. Unless they stop paying me or dcg starts trying to kill all the other kids (lol) terminating them is just not a financially smart option.

Any suggestions on wording for this? I am planning on discussing it with them in person as well, but I'm terrible with confrontation, and I know I'll do better if I have everything I want to say planned out ahead of time.

[playfelt]

Why not just call them out on their behaviour with the idea that you have to consider the needs of everyone in daycare and therefore you need parents to do the same. That means being respectful of drop off and pick up times and the activity schedule of the daycare. It means being consistent in days so that everyone your child, the other daycare children and the provider can plan accordingly, etc. Make it about what you need.

[AmandaKDT]

Why not just call them out on their behaviour with the idea that you have to consider the needs of everyone in daycare and therefore you need parents to do the same. That means being respectful of drop off and pick up times and the activity schedule of the daycare. It means being consistent in days so that everyone your child, the other daycare children and the provider can plan accordingly, etc. Make it about what you need.

This is how I have approached this situation with some of my daycare families that drop off late, pick up late (though within my official hours of operation) without giving me any notice. I tell them that it makes it difficult to stick to our routine and for me to be able to plan my day when I don't know when they will be dropping off or picking up. I make it about the kids, how their fun day is affected (which is true). Remind them that you leave for the park at so and so time because of the hot weather and how it is for the health and safety of the children that you need to take them out early in the morning.


I also might tell them that you are offering them Monday, Wednesday and Friday as a set schedule, and if they need different days for the following week they need to let you know by 5 pm on Friday (or something like that). If you don't hear from them then you are assuming that these are the days they need and you will be charging accordingly. I would make this as an amendment to their contract and get them to sign it - also adding that this is a temporary agreement until another part time child is found. Of course, this is again to ensure a consistent routine for yourself and the children.

[DCMG]

This is the part of this business that I hate...nobody would ever walk into their bank and say "sorry, I'm not paying my mortgage this week cause I can't" or "I was away for 5 days this month so I am not paying for my hydro bill". If it was me I would start looking for another client and then once you have that in place just give them 2 weeks notice. Unfortunately this family sounds like they will just continue making demands and it won't improve from here. You have to protect yourself and your business first. Good luck!

[Lou]

To be perfectly honest, I think you really need to put your foot down and be firm with these flakes. They are walking all over you and know that you will eventually relent. If it were me, I would email them like this:
Dear so and so,
After a considerable amount of thinking, I cannot not accommodate your wish to go back on our agreement for attending full time. My business and financial planning will not allow for such a sort notice change in plans, without having the time to advertise and sign on another part time child to make up for the loss in income that was expected. In order to maintain your space in my childcare, our original agreement must be honoured, with ______ attending full time beginning the week of July 21st.
Pleaae let me know how you intend to proceed, Thank you.
CrazyEight


Send it off, wait for the response and carry on from there. They are disrespectful on many levels, so if they decide to stay they will know to take you more seriously, and if they decide to leave....honestly... .good riddance. Don't allow disrespect, you do not deserve it!!