I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I know stress is a factor but I am just not into this anymore. I feel so impatient and like I am faking every moment with the kids. I do not like them anymore which is hard to admit. I have moments where I think "let's do all kinds of programming and make this a super fun summer" but it just hasn't happened. I feel so depleted.

I sent my eldest to day camp for 2 weeks so she can have some practice being away from me come school starting and hang out with other big kids. She is having a blast. I miss her terribly during the day (it's so hard when they grow up!) but she is having a very good time. I can't help but feel a little jealous of the counselors that they get to have fun with her everyday while I am strapped down with multiple little kids which gets in the way of being able to do some of the things bigger kids like to do. I would just love to close my doors tomorrow morning, and spend the summer with my girls dck free (and of course my mortgage is magically paid right?) Just needed to express how I am feeling.