Question new to this

[Michab2]

Hi
So I have alittle boy who has been with me for almost 2 months now, he is only with me two days a week Thursday and Friday. I have a few issues and not sure if I should terminate him or try and deal with the issues. His Dad is always late never calls, and when he does show up doesn't apologize. The little boys has crying fits all day long and now he is biting and pulling hair and scratching the other kids. I have asked the parents to cut his nails. They said they will try but it's a big job, cause he moves so much. Also I have asked for a spare pair of clothes for 2 weeks now, because the dad drops him off in jeans when it's suppose to be 28 degrees c out, so I have been sending him home in a diaper to try and make a point. ( not working)The last thing is he hardly eats lunch and I can't make him special meals because he will he use to it than the other kids will want different stuff also, and when I tell the parents they do t seem that concern. I'm at a complete loss on how to deal with this family any advice is appreicated thanks

[mickyc]

What does your contract say? In mine consistent late pick ups are grounds for termination. I would give them notice that you are placing them on probation. Spell out exactly what you expect from them (in writing) - need to pick up on time, send appropriate clothing and leave an extra set at your home, to help you work through the behavioural issues and give them a time frame that they have to cooperate. If they are late once then it is immediate termination, if after the probation period the child is still having behavioural issues and you are having issues with the parents bringing the appropriate clothing then terminate.

As for eating, my contract states that I will try my best to serve something all kids like but in the event we have something the child refuses to eat they will NOT be given any alternative. I do try and give options on certain things. For example when we have raw vegies (often) I will make sure and serve something that I know each child likes. Some like carrots, others like celery, broccoli etc. I serve the little ones who don't eat the hard vegies tomatoes, mushrooms, cucumbers and small pieces of orange peppers.

Be strict with the child regarding biting and scratching - instant timeout!

Hope this helps

[Lee-Bee]

So frustrating!

My contract does not have any late fees (that's permission to be late, with a penalty). If late once, verbal warning, second time it`s a verbal and written notice that the next time late will be end of contract. Basically 3 strikes you`re out.

Now, in the last 6 months I`ve had 2 families that have been late, once each. They gave text notice as to why (car accident blocking traffic etc) and were only a few minutes late. That doesn`t bother me in the least. Neither would bad weather slowing traffic or just a work emergency. The point is, they call/text to explain, they apologize (noting that they overstayed their time here) and that it is infrequent. Life happens...I get it. BUT if they do it often and do not text ahead or apologize is just rude and shows that they think they are running the show not you.

I would, as mickyc said, give notice of probation.

As for the clothes...I have 2 families that keep sending their child is pants (thick pants). I find it odd...but I just assume it's because we have central a/c and perhaps they don't so they find it cool. Frankly I wear a sweater inside as I find it cool (we don't even keep the house cool at 25c but the daycare is in the basement). We aren't outside long enough for me to worry and we don't go out in extreme heat. Once I sent a child home in diaper telling mom he was over heating. She started sending shorts in his bag just in case.

Sometimes parents just see things differently and if it doesn't impact anyone other than their child I go with it. Now if the child was complaining of being hot and was being miserable then it would be impacting others and I'd be insisting on shorts.

Is there a chance they haven't sent clothes, as requested, because they only come 2x a week and the time in between the request and their next visit is so long they just forget? I can see this happening since life is busy. Maybe send an email/text the night before his next day requesting clothes?

As for the food...tough. you offer the child chooses whether or not to eat. I don't make special meals for picky eaters. I do offer one 'safe' food per meal (bread usually) for my child that eats next to nothing...I figure a bit of bread and some milk will be enough to not be miserable until snack time. My picky eater learned very quickly not to whine or request special food and just sits and waits for everyone to finish. I hope that someday she will eat more...but it's been 6 months now and we've really made no progress!

Anyways...being late is an issue that needs to be dealt with asap. The other issues are just minor things that wouldn't so much bother me on their own...but all piled together could be enough to look for a more suitable family. Giving notice of probation with clear expectations is a good start...they will either pull their act together to keep their space or they will move on to other care.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with both lee bee and micky c.

I have a late fee for pick ups but not for payment (I love what you say lee bee...it IS permission to be late but with a penalty!) I have had a few parents a couple minutes late but if they have texted/called to explain why and that they were on the way and they apologize at pick up than I don't mind letting it slide once and awhile. I had one family who was late a fair amount but they always had the late fee paid that day or the next morning (in the 8 months they were here they paid around $50 in late fees!) If it is a consistent thing, I have it in my contract that it's grounds for termination. If a parent were to show up late and not say anything, I would be ticked so I understand your frustration. I am not here whenever they need me...I have set hours and I expect them to be considerate of that. I agree with lee bee that life happens so once in awhile is okay but if it's getting to the point that it's bugging you, time to say something to the parents!

I also agree with lee bee in regard to the clothing. I also have central air and it is quite cool in the basement even with all the vents closed. I have one child who also comes dressed in jeans most of the time and I have to change him into lighter pants. Sometimes he doesn't have shorts or lighter pants so I just roll them up. Mom is sorta forgetful and I assume that is the reason she doesn't always send spare clothes. She has carried him out of here and left his sweater, hat and shoes!! lol. Some parents just can't get their shit together sometimes!!

I said in another thread how parents are like children and I pick my battles with them just like I do with the kids. If these are things that truly bother you, I would let them know and put them on probation for whatever length of time you think is appropriate. Set clear rules that they need to follow and state what the consequence is if they don't follow your rules. They will either shape up or leave. Either way, the stress will be gone and you can go back to enjoying this family and/or daycare life. For example of picking battles, if the parents still don't send shorts I would go out and buy a couple pairs at yard sales for 50 cents and change him during the day but send him home in the pants he came in. Sometimes it's just not worth the hassle of constantly reminding the parents of something and I wouldn't make a child suffer because of his/her parents inability to do as I ask.

Another thing I would suggest is maybe doing a monthly newsletter? When I got my second round of kids and parents, I found the parents were young new moms and I felt like I had to guide them through EVERYTHING! So I started doing a monthly newsletter. I talk a bit about what I have planned for the month (theme, activities, field trips etc) and than I list all the important dates for that month (pay days, dress up days, closures) and I mark down what each family owes on their letter. Than I end it with reminders....things such as "please ring doorbell before coming in", "please text/call if you are going to be later or earlier than normal so I can plan my day", "please send appropriate clothes for the weather and have at least one spare outfit at dc at all times" etc. It's all the reminders that I feel the parents need at that time. Sometimes it's only for one parent but I put it in the newsletter anyways. It has helped a lot and I don't feel like I'm constantly talking to parents about the rules and such. It's really helped my stress level lol. Thankfully I have a pretty good group right now and the reminders have gotten less and less.

Do what you think will benefit you and your dc the best! If you don't think the parents are willing to work with you than terminate and find a family who will! My suggestion would be to find another family first and than terminate so that you are not left with no income. Give the current family appropriate notice and tell the new family they can start at xxx date.


eeek!!! sorry!!! I didn't realize I typed so much

[SillyGirl_C]

5 Little Monkeys has a great point about the newsletters. The daycare my daughter attends has a montly newsletter and calender. Not only do I feel 'plugged' in to what my child is learning, but I also get reminders on items easily forgotten...like sunscreen refills.

Another option is to have a small bin or bag for each child. The parent is responsible for keeping stocked with extra cloths and other sundries. Dirty cloths are sent home at the end of each day.

Poor kiddo though. Sounds like dad is stretched thin, not plugged in, and the worst part....don't even notice and apologize.