Thanks. I don't know about the future. We talked a lot last night but I don't think it got us far. I made it clear to him that I felt we were failing our child if we didn't exhaust every available resource (counselling) before ripping her world apart. And he was/is thinking about it. When he asked if I truly thought counselling would fix it, for good not for 6 months I said that I honestly did BUT that I can't be the 6 people I am currently trying to be and that I need to quit work to be a full-time mom/wife/housekeeper and have a few minutes to take care of myself. That just led us back to the issue of my student debt...which the daycare has just started to allow me to pay off. I close the daycare I have a $30,000 debt. so I need to work...if I work then I have to try and be 6 people.
We make enough money to live on one income. but the student loans mess things up. There I the option of perhaps my closing the daycare and turning the daycare into a rental and having someone live in our basement (has everything down there) and their rent would pay my student debt.

but we are both a wreck right now. I am stressed and panicked and I just don't want to be under this roof right now with a husband that wants a separation. I need to pull myself together. he is being very calm and kind and compassionate and level headed. I am not. i am doing everything i can to remain nice and kind in return but my world has been flipped upside down my husband is walking around with no wedding ring on and i am an emotional wreck. my daughter knows it...she is acting out when around me and is really feeling it. i need to remove myself so i can clear myself of that emotion, at least enough that she isn't feeding off it.

Thanks so much ladies...already allowing me to think a tad bit clearer. what sucks even more is that large majority of our friends are joint friends so everyone local is stuck i in the middle if i run to them and vent. all my family and my friends are 21 hours away. they are all in shock now and are very supportive and helpful but all the offers of free places to live don't help me when it is 21 hours away and i need to find the cash to fly my daughter back and forth weekly to share her. gahhhhhhh life as an adult sucks, royally. Wish i could go sit in the sandbox and eat sand all day without a care in the world.