Support please

[dodge__driver11]

I can honestly say that doing daycare is one of the HARDEST things I have ever done. Emotionally, fiscally, and in every other way possible..but the truth is as hard as my husband can be on me he understands that this is best for everyone, as he at least gets that I am doing this for my son, and for him.

Has he given up, or can you guys get some help? I would hate to see everything be over because of daycare.

Here are some of the things I have some to lessen the "burden on my family"

1. I have a student come in once a week to do clean for minimum wage, she enjoys the extra cash, and sometimes serves as my sub when available.

2. I no longer have any ft kids, rather I have all pt's and make up my income that way, as well as teaching EAL pt, so I have Monday afternoons off, and all of my children are gone by 6 pm every other full day. (I teach EAL, on evening and weekend, not labour intensive at all)

3. I now have "chore deligations." and these are chores that he always does or we take turns, or that I always do. I also involve my son in this as much as possible.

I hope this helps, and good luck.

[Lee-Bee]

The house is his. He comes from money and is a financial guru that makes 5fold of what I make. He chose the better career money wise.

I did not come from money, don't need much money and don't need much stuff.

When we moved in together 6 years ago we got a cohabitation agreement it says something along the lines of the house and stuff is his...this holds through marriage. Having a kid might have changed some of that but I have zero interest in his stuff or my half of his stuff.

Our agreement does say I can stay till needed (within reason) and he is telling me the same thing. he's offered that I can stay and keep the daycare going until things all fall into place. but I have zero interest of running a business in my ex's house...should we move ahead. I also have nothing in me to keep the daycare open so it is already closed.

he also has to provide me with first and last months rent if and when I should move out to get me started. and frankly he would help out more if needed. he's not being mean at all. he's being an idiot. this is how he works..it is not intentional he just goes into this mood where all he sees is negative and he needs to snap out of it. this of course is much worse than usual. he's also overly emotional and sensitive and it doesn't help that he's been feeling ignored for so long. as much as that is life...he is unable to see that right now.

anyways. it would be me moving out. we'd be doing joint custody and neither of us would really try to fight for anything else. it will devastate him as much as me to split time with our daughter he is very attached to her...and while he possibly does more than most dads care wise (still no where near a fair share) he spends a lot of play time with her.

frankly I would prefer he stays in this house with her...because it is familiar and hers. she will quickly adapt to a new place with me, more so than with him I think because I can keep everything else the same whereas he'd be starting new with all the child caring duties.

all that said. still completely up in the air. I am still here in the guest room, we are trying to talk things over. talking to a brick wall mostly but trying. things are calm and nice, there's no hate or anything. but I could really, really smack him upside the head.

if HE wants a divorce HE needs to take ownership of it and HE needs to make it official and HE needs to do it while I am here, being calm and nice and fighting against it. I will not do anything to allow him to easily justify it. because it is nonsense.

not saying it won't take a lot of therapy as a couple and for each of us and it will take a lot of time and effort. and i'm not saying I don't suck at many things (nor does he). but this is NOT necessary. life is not greener on the other side of the fence and the issues at hand will just follow each of us (he's over sensitive and needs more love and attention than a working wife, with a child, and a huge house to clean can give) and I grew up in a sarcastic family and find it hard when I am overwhelmed with too much responsibility to not just roll my eyes and joke or otherwise miss the mark on just giving him the pity he needs to get over the moment. and, he remembers every moment I didn't give what he needs so it stews.

totally fixable should he decide it's worth fixing. we wait and wait and see what he opts for.