Support please

[mickyc]

Lee-Bee - I also want to say that I think you sound like you are really level headed. I used to work in a law office and have witnessed so much hate and bitterness when it comes to divorce. I witnessed first hand the battle my parents went through and then lived it with my husband and his extremely vengeful ex-wife. There is no reason to drag everything through the court system and I am so glad to hear that you have the basics sorted out if/when you leave the family home.

Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Lee-Bee]

Lee-Bee - I also want to say that I think you sound like you are really level headed. I used to work in a law office and have witnessed so much hate and bitterness when it comes to divorce. I witnessed first hand the battle my parents went through and then lived it with my husband and his extremely vengeful ex-wife. There is no reason to drag everything through the court system and I am so glad to hear that you have the basics sorted out if/when you leave the family home.

Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing.

I think my degree in psychology helps some. I'm not saying I haven't made a really long list in my head of things I want to say as I smack him upside the head but it won't get us anywhere. I know he is not trying to be mean or vengeful or anything. he's hurting and is lost. My initial gut reaction was FLIGHT mode...but I managed to quickly turn to fight mode (skill learned in counselling years ago when dealing with his mother and the many issues she caused). Just need to keep tabs that he fight mode is in a positive sense and not a fight lol.

I have to say that quitting the daycare has helped immensely. I have had some free time. I am more relaxed. despite all the stress and chaos I am feeling better able to think and act. I have been having him take over childcare so he can practice for when he's on his own (should we split). last night I went to mcdonalds and sat in the car playing on my phone! it was bliss...no cooking, no clean up, no 16month old to tend too....ahhhhh. My friend is coming over tonight to watch tv while her husband takes my husband out for a drink to talk. They are both very shocked and are trying to fight to save our marriage in a very non-pressure way.

maybe this is the calm before the storm? maybe its a sign that things will work out but for the most part I feel pretty good right now. how stupid is that? my husband wants to separate, I quit my job, am potentially homeless (while being jobless) and may end up having to share my daughter yet I am calm and relaxed!!