My daughter is having a hard time

[venusrockstar]

I opened my home daycare when my youngest daughter was a year old. She just turned 2 this past May and we have major behaviour issues with her. I feel incredibly guilty because I feel like it's due to me having so many other children in my home. I am currently full with 5 daycare kids plus my own 2 daughters. Throughout the day she yells, screams, cries, throws tantrums and toys. Flails her body around and is just overall difficult. If another child is in her space or takes a toy from her she will resort to hitting.

After the daycare children leave I try to spend as much quality time as I can with her and even do one on one mommy/daughter time on the weekend with just her. I guess I just don't know what else I can do? Anyone have any tips?

I am pulling my hair out

She has her own space in her room and I don't allow the other children in her room for nap time or for playing. I talk to her about sharing etc and she gets time outs for hitting and when she isn't listening.

[Secondtimearound]

Well my dd just turned six and went from being basically an only ( siblings in their 20s) to sharing me with 5-6 other children . I only started last September , for her to have friends and me to work . But she has been very FRUSTERATed ( I must use that a lot because I did not capitalize it lol )
We are downstairs , I bought everything new for the dayhome so she wouldn't have to share her things but I don't like her behaviour sometimes !
I think we spend so much time with our jobs that our own kids get the short end ! I mean who else takes their kids to work ? Can you imagine !
I get FRUSTERATed (ugh) when people day oh it's nice you can work from home , you get to spend so much time with your daughter , actually I'm still working !! And trying to parent my child , and take care of my house ! Ok so I'm not a rocket scientist but I'm juggling !!
I think what you are doing is best , spending that time one on one with her and doing special things with her only , that's pretty much what I'm trying as well !!

[Fun&care]

It sounds like you are doing everything right. You should know however that your own kids will always be your most difficult. At least that's the case for me. They are not afraid to test us because we are their mothers and they know we love them unconditionally. The daycare kids don't test me nearly as much. Having a house full of kids can be hard on the whole family too...it's really not easy. I have four daycare kids plus my two this summer and I cannot wait until September when I lose one and my oldest goes back to school! I find it's been a bit harder on my own kids have so many little people here all day long!

[mickyc]

Yes it is partly because of the daycare but it is likely more so because she is 2 (terrible 2's!). You need to be consistent and strict with her. My daughter was like this as well. I started daycare when she was 8 months old (only part-time for the first 3 months). We had some behavioural issues that is for sure but I was very strict with her. I don't allow my daycare kids to act that way (throwing tantrums, hitting, yelling, screaming) so I certainly wouldn't allow her to behave that way. She is now 4.5 and an absolutely wonderful child! I get so many compliments when we go out how she is so well behaved.

Our children will always be the worst behaved with us, just as we see the daycare children act ridiculous at drop off/pick up time. For myself I have my daycare separate from my living space so that helps. She doesn't have to share her toys or her space (except for right now my basement is under construction so daycare is upstairs although all my daughter's toys are in her room and all bedroom doors remain closed all day). We make sure and do lots of special things together evenings and weekends.

I also put her in pre-school one morning a week to get her used to other kids and away from me. She also goes to grandma's house one day a week just to have a break. There were times where if she wanted to just stay upstairs and play or watch TV instead of "come to work" downstairs I would let her. I could always hear or and would check on her often. It isn't her choice to that I run daycare so if she needs her space sometimes I let her have it.

[kassiemom]

I went through this too with my daughter. I was at a loss so i asked for advice from a friend who did home care for years with her own kids. She pointed out that my DD was looking for attention in anyway she could get it. So we began with a conversation in the morning that if she misbehaves she will get a time out. then when she hit or pushed without saying a word i would pick her up and strap her in her highchair. I would set a timer and just say "when the timer goes off you can get out." then when the timer goes off i would take her out and not say anything but go about business. (fully aware its not the safest place incase she toppled it over but she's my own kid and it worked.)
Many people follow the steps where you talk to them after time out and say sorry and have a hug but that process didn't work. this process worked wonders took a couple days and she started to understand and it slowly tapered off. Good luck though the 2's are hard enough already!!!

[FunnyFarm]

I'm so glad I'm not alone!!!! My dd is 2 1/2 and driving me crazy! I think we just need to hang in there, put our foot down and pray we have a wonderful child after a couple of years. It is so hard on the kids to share their parent during business hours, they do their best to get your undivided attention.