:-) I wouldn't consider him a control freak...neat freak -yes, anal -yes, obsessive compulsive -yes, wayyyy too in the box (like measured 1 million times from every angle to be EXACTLY centred in the box) -yes. But he isn't 'controlling'. He IS the man I married. I dated him 3 yrs before we married (4yrs ago), I lived with him for like 1.5yrs before we married (can't for the life of me remember how long I lived with him).
I knew the man I was marrying. We worked hard to get things figured out and he had to change and 'loosen up' up a lot to be able to live together. While he adapts and changes as needed he is who he is...and that is largely due to his engineering tendencies (or he is an engineering due to all his tendencies) and just based on his life growing up (which is a whole other story). As much as he drives me up the wall at times...those are the same reasons I love him. I have just as many quirks that drive him up the wall. The main issue here is that we had our roles when we married and it worked for us...then we had a kid, then I opened a business (with an infant). Neither of us really adapted our roles to account for the fact that live changed big time when we had a kid and life changed big time when I opened a business.
He's wanted to hire a cleaner and someone to cook and he has hired a gardener. I refused the cleaner and the cook because those the things I WANT to do. I don't want to work and have to have hired help do stuff around the house for me. I am certain that while it might have freed up a little but of time for me it would not have changed much for me and would not have been the solution. I need to be present at home and not be putting my all into my work.
But...I am also incredibly stubborn and I find it incredibly hard to seek help so I work myself into the ground trying to work full time and be a wife and mom (ignoring my own needs) and it also kills me to fully be a stay at home mom/wife with no incoming money of my own. Which leaves me stuck between a rock and a hard place...hence my trying to figure out my next move. My trying to figure this out is me trying to figure out what I NEED. I just have no idea what I need more...having zero work (and therefore zero money) or my working a bit in some capacity but thereby giving up some of my time and energy for my family/home/me.
I've got little to no doubt that we can work out our relationship and be married happily ever after...I just can't for the life of me figure out what I need to do on the work front to ensure that it doesn't just put me in a position here I am not happy long term or I am not drowning in trying to be perfect at too many roles.


































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