Nap/Quiet Time AND sharing

[Rachael]

How long do you leave them to cry normally before getting them?...I tried rubbing his back...

I let them cry it out. That said, we are very active in the day care and so I know they are tired come nap time. Yes, it's hard but if consistent, they do learn to self-settle and it's not usually more than three days before they get it. I will add that this works better for full-time children vs those who spend more time at home. I won't cuddle, rock or rub backs to settle a child. Since I can't do that for 6, I don't do it for one. Sooner or later they will have to learn to settle at nap time so IMO this just delays the inevitable need to just settle down by themselves.

Also, I'm in need some activity ideas for sharing. I have one little girl in particular that is always saying "Mine" whether something is in her hand or whether she left it and played with it like 2 hours ago!! .... She is a pusher, biter and hitter. Very hard to handle. And won't apologize either. How would you handle this?

When I have had children with the 'mine' mentality, as others have said, I state that the toys here are mine. They are welcome to use them but they have to take turns. Smaller children don't really share a toy jointly but more so play beside each other and take turns with a given toy. If I see one child is hoarding a particular toy that another is waiting for, I tell them that in 5 mins, it will be the other child's turn to use it.
I have had one little boy who used to try and keep all the cars to himself by scooping them into his lap or tucking them under his legs. For those instances, where there are many cars, I would say that two is the max since they only have two hands, so they need to pick which two they want to play with and let the other children play with the rest.

In terms of the biting, pushing, hitting - that's a complete no-tolerance here. It's an instant time out. I rarely give time outs so if someone is in the time out chair, they know it's serious.

For those children who have repeatedly hurt their peers, this is what I do.

Step 1 - Speak directly to the parents and inform them that this has to be resolved jointly and promptly as you have a responsibility to all children in your care. They must take this seriously because if he's doing this at home and they are just saying "ouch, don't do that' it's not effective or if they treat it as a joke.

Step 2 - Watch the biter really closely and be ready to intervene the second he thinks about biting. No need to wait until he's actually done it if you can see if coming.

Step 3 - Move fast, and swoop the biter up and pop him straight into time out. The speed at which you move, is key. As carer's we rarely scoop a child up promptly and plop them down without first having issued a few verbal cues or corrections. When we normally place a child in time out, it's after them being reminded not to do the offensive action, whatever that might be, a few firm "no"s and so lots of communication before the harshest of actions - the time out/exclusion period.

When you move fast, with no verbal warning, and no communication, a child really takes notice of that because it's so unusual.

Once in time out, don't speak to them, don't make eye contact, don't smile.

Biters often do it for attention - and even the negative attention of being told off or spoken to is still attention. The swift movement, exclusion, lack of eye contact, lack of speech, is the polar opposite of attention. BUT you have to do it every time and they have to be able to sense you are really ticked at them and displeased.

I've had a lot of success with this method of ending various unwanted but serious habits that potentially affect other children in the day care. That said, I rarely give a time out so if I was to scoop a child up and put them on the time out chair especially not having issued a couple of verbal warning first about being gentle, then they know it's serious.