15 month old boy with dangerous trantrums

[Rachael]

Hi, I'm fairly new to the forums although not to day care.

We have a great group of providers locally (our market place is saturated with day homes) who are really supportive of each other and bounce ideas around between ourselves and manage to get some ideas from one another when facing difficult situations. However, one of contacts is dealing with a situation which is rather dangerous and due to the age of the child, she could really do with some ideas.

Here's what she sent out to our group last night and we'd really appreciate any insight you might have.


"Hi there, looking for a little advice....I have a little guy who has severe tantrums, and when I say severe, I mean throwing himself down on the floor (or whatever else is around) from standing....head and all. And there are times when he also smashes his head continuously as well...whether it be on a wall, or the floor, or the table. This is done whenever he doesn't get his way, whenever he is told no, or whenever he is asked to share. I have children of my own, and have worked in daycare for many years and have not come across a child who has behaved in such a dangerous manner at such a young age. Now believe me when I say he "smashes" his head....I mean that literally. I have spoken to both parents and their retort is, "oh, he does it all the time!", and "I know". I am concerned for his safety as he really hits his head hard. I have had to resort to putting him in his playpen until I feel he safe from doing it again...he is only 15 months old. I love this little guy to bits, and he is genuinely sweet when not having a fit. So I guess what I need to know is, what do I do now? How do I handle it? What else can I do to express the seriousness of this to the parents? Thanks in advance."

[AmandaKDT]

I have a daycare girl that used to head bang when she was the same age (she would purposefully swing her head forwards or backwards and bang it on the floor), but she ended up growing out of it. It was a phase, lasted a couple of months max.

[Lou]

I would just consistently continue to put him in a play pen as soon as the tantrums start, he will be safer in there and he will also, by cause and effect begin to understand that aggressive behaviour (even towards himself) will result in being removed from a situation. I imagine he will grow out of this after a month or two. Sounds horrible to have to witness!

[Secondtimearound]

I have had two dcg around two yrs old , do the same thing ! I was horrified the first time it happened with the one , I actually phoned her parents and made them pick her up . I had said to share a toy and she got up crying and walked away , as she did I said , it's nice to share ! There was no reason for her to even get upset ! But she walked over to the slide , looked at me , I smiled at her and she literally smashed her face until I could get to her ! Her parents were the same , oh I know , put her on a time out . That happened 3 more times and I termed , I couldn't handle it . Then had another one , with her it was throwing herself where ever she was , cement outside , didn't matter to her , this time I tried ignoring it , putting her in a playpen , as nonchalantly as possible , she eventually stopped . I did video it happening by chance and showed dcm . She just said , yup that's what she does ! Ugh
I feel for your friend ! I hope she could try the playpen , time out idea and I hope it works !!!

[Rachael]

Thanks for the feed back. I was stumped with this in one so young but I guess it's more common that I thought. Maybe I've just been lucky not having to deal with it.

I'll let her know the play pen is the best solution and maybe recommend she videos it so she has some documentation just in case to cover herself.

[hockey mom]

I had the same experience with a dcg. She would smash her head to the point of nasty goose eggs. After trying several things, I found that not reacting to the head smashing and calmly securing her in a safe place (for me it was a high chair but a play pen would work) worked best. She eventually grew out of it once she became a bit more verbal ("help please" is the first phrase I teach my kids!). FYI, I had an agreement with the mom that I would text her if I felt she had hit her head moderately to extremely hard (for liability purposes).