Hmmm... If she stays, great. Sounds like she is still learning and suffering working-mom guilt, for sure. I think you handled it well.
My kids are still adjusting in some ways, and it's been over a year. It was tough at first, but I just kept explaining that this is how mommy can stay home with them and still work. I reminded them that if I don't do daycare, then THEY will be going to daycare.
If she goes, then just as well. She does sound high maintenance, and that doesn't always get any better!
Good luck!