Is mom asking too much?

[thenest]

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the feedback. Unfortunately I do not think mom will realize how good she has it, until she leaves. I feel there is nothing else I can do and the request list will continue to expand. Her husband is away for the weekend, and she called in "sick" after her accusatory texting, so I am assuming she may weed herself out before I have the opportunity.

[thenest]

Yes, demanding ANYTHING wouldn't sit well with me!! Ask me nicely and I'm more willing to accommodate

I usually have a spare set of clothes for each child in their drawer so I just use those for nap. I am with you...skinny jeans on children don't make sense to me either, especially for at daycare. To each their own though but I don't make the child suffer through nap in skinny jeans lol. Makes you wonder what parents think we do at daycare all day hey?? haha.

She's always dressed comfortably. She's worried she will be too cold unless she wears her fleece pjs.

[daycaremom9]

I began sitting for a family four months ago and everything was great. This family gives me their childcare dates ever Sunday for the week of as her dates always change. I have always accommodated them. I even accommodate all of her requests: provide her child with her supplied teething rings, change her into her pjs at nap time, provide her with crackers or toys while walking in the stroller etc.

This baby (17 months) is very strong and has been aggressive since the day she started. She bites, pulls hair, hits and kicks every child. Mainly she picks on my son who is 17 months as well. I inform mom every time she picks her up if it was a major incident. Everytime it's my fault. She bit someone because I didn't have her tethers available, she hair pulled and kicked in the stroller because I didn't provide her with toys or food and she was probably starving (I feed her breakfast 45 minutes before we leave to drop off at school). Every day I provide the parents with written reports, I daily blog with their activities and pictures and we do crafts, play outside and they're provided with a preschool program.

The other day mom asked me to start a journal with the time, what her child was doing before, during and after the incident. She has blamed the other children for her actions that they may be provoking her when they are no where near her and she also tried to blame my school age son the other day. I charge ten dollars less than anyone in the area and I feel like I give so much to this family, but it's never enough.

I feel like I want to terminate because mom is always adding new things to my list and is never happy. Am I over reacting or is she really asking a lot?

Wonder why her child is showing this behaviour?! I would say "Next!"

[5 Little Monkeys]

I've had those kind of parents....who expected me to bend over backwards for them and when I didn't they chose to leave. No skin off my back! I MUCH prefer when they leave on their own so I don't have to be the bad guy and terminate. They will quickly realize that life with you was pretty darn good and maybe they will realize that they are in the wrong for some parts of it....or maybe not? But luckily she won't be your problem anymore!

[playfelt]

I have had the jammies for nap request before too as it is now recommended no blankets be used so child needs the extra layer - ie fleece jammies equals a blanket. For an under 15 month old I will do it. After that there is no reason they are not fine with the regular daycare bedding.

[cfred]

What???? No blankets now? Oh, for god's sake....aren't the 'experts' getting just a tad ridiculous? Perhaps we should just wrap kids in bubble wrap and feed only baby food....just in case.

Gawd. Every year it's a new (stupid) rule.

[SillyGirl_C]

Hmmm...I think I am going to be the odd one out on this. That said, I do think that the mom is over the top with her requests. Do NOT do the journal.

'Special Snowflake' (I love this reference) sounds typical to me. Kids hit and act aggressive sometimes. Not a bad kid, just more challenging. As the daycare provider, you are well within your rights to discipline and redirect as needed. Tell the mom that you are going to try 'new ECE' practices which include (blah, blah) for all the children. Advise that you are confident this situation can be resolved and that a journal is simply not practical given the demands on your time.

The mom sounds like she is in denial over negative associations with her child. She could be embarrassed, or scared that admitting it is true makes her child less perfect.

Feel free to terminate at some point, but due to the intertwining of your clients, you might want to let this one blow over first and find a neutral reason at a later date.

My 2cents.

[Rachael]

If you don't control your business, it will control you.

I know that sounds harsh but you do not have 6 bosses for 6 children, you have clients. They signed up for your service as it was outlined to them during the meeting and in the contracts. They do not get to add tasks to what is already a hectic day.

Go back to your contract and do what is in those. Any additional workload can be denied as outside the scope of the agreement or can be agreed to as an additional task which therefore requires an additional fee. I'll bet she will be less inclined to insist on this never ending extra list.

She is not your boss. She is not there to mico-manage your day. You are not obligated to get into a text exchange with her during business hours when your work commitment include more children than just hers. Who does she think is watching and interacting with these children whist she's texting you? Would she be happy if one of your other parents pulled you away from caring during business hours?

In terms of the aggression, I'd be having a meeting and clearly laying out that you have a responsibility to keep all of the children in your care safe. It's not about excuses and reasons for this child's actions - it's about finding a resolution to stop this risky behaviour. Is she willing to work with you to resolve this so her child can remain in your day care or is she just going to keep talking about the potential reasons it might be happening? Again, I am sure if her child was on the receiving end she'd have a very different point of view.

Some clients are not good customers. Some clients are users. These are not the clients you want to bend over to accommodate because it always ends up being at the expense of everyone else. It's one thing to go out of your way to assist in an issue with a good, respectful, client who takes on board your comments and is open to suggestions about how to resolve issues and work together for the success of their child. It's quite another when the parent is demanding things from you but not putting forth any effort themselves.

Don't be afraid to send her on her way and close the door firmly behind her.

[thenest]

If you don't control your business, it will control you.

I know that sounds harsh but you do not have 6 bosses for 6 children, you have clients. They signed up for your service as it was outlined to them during the meeting and in the contracts. They do not get to add tasks to what is already a hectic day.

Go back to your contract and do what is in those. Any additional workload can be denied as outside the scope of the agreement or can be agreed to as an additional task which therefore requires an additional fee. I'll bet she will be less inclined to insist on this never ending extra list.

She is not your boss. She is not there to mico-manage your day. You are not obligated to get into a text exchange with her during business hours when your work commitment include more children than just hers. Who does she think is watching and interacting with these children whist she's texting you? Would she be happy if one of your other parents pulled you away from caring during business hours?

In terms of the aggression, I'd be having a meeting and clearly laying out that you have a responsibility to keep all of the children in your care safe. It's not about excuses and reasons for this child's actions - it's about finding a resolution to stop this risky behaviour. Is she willing to work with you to resolve this so her child can remain in your day care or is she just going to keep talking about the potential reasons it might be happening? Again, I am sure if her child was on the receiving end she'd have a very different point of view.

Some clients are not good customers. Some clients are users. These are not the clients you want to bend over to accommodate because it always ends up being at the expense of everyone else. It's one thing to go out of your way to assist in an issue with a good, respectful, client who takes on board your comments and is open to suggestions about how to resolve issues and work together for the success of their child. It's quite another when the parent is demanding things from you but not putting forth any effort themselves.

Don't be afraid to send her on her way and close the door firmly behind her.

They're fabulous people, but cannot face the fact that their child is the only instigator and aggressive child. I think they're both beyond frustrated, but taking it unknowingly out on me and the other children. If I put myself in their shoes, I wouldn't know what to do. However, if I was the parent of the other children, I wouldn't want to send my kids here.

Thank you for all the feedback. I will definitely put your advice to good use!