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  1. #1

    Daughter is the oldest (by alot!) at daycare

    I'm very happy with the daycare my daughter attends, she's been there since she was 11 months. She's now 3 and all the other kids are 1. Just wondering if this is something I should be concerned with? It would obviously be more 'fun' for her with kids her own age. Just looking for other parents who've also experienced this, did it effect your child? did it bother you? Should I just be happy she's in a loving, caring environment? Lol, mixed emotions.

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    As a daycare provider, I try to fill spots with children who are ages that would mesh well. Now saying that, it isn't always possible and at times I have to fill the spaces with the ages given to me in order to pay my bills.

    In home daycare, there won't always be the guarantee that your child will have friends the same age. For some kids this is okay but I have had situations where the older child gets bored, acts up, regresses etc. One child in particular did not handle being the oldest (by two years in age but at least 3-4 years in mental age) well and in the end they pulled her out to attend preschool for a year and a half before starting Kindergarten. It really was in the best interest of the child and I hope that it also curbed some of her behaviour. (some of it was just due to lack of parenting but that's another story lol)

    It would depend on the daycare provider as well. Does she have toys/games/activities that are still going to stimulate your child or is the focus on the little kids? I have 2 under 2, 2 three year olds and an almost 4 year old. I spend some time with the older kids doing things that the little ones aren't ready for (they are welcome to watch of course but my focus is on the older 3). Ask your provider what her plans are and go from there maybe?

    Also, keep in mind, that lots of moms/dads stay home with their children and will have this same situation. It isn't the end of the world but depending on what you want your child to get out of daycare will determine if this is still a good fit for you and your child. Do you have time in the evenings to work/play with your child on more age appropriate activities. A good daycare provider can be hard to find so if you have one, sticking with her might be better than finding a preschool with a mediocre teacher for example.

  3. #3
    Starting to feel at home...
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    I would say feed of the cue's your daughter is giving you. If she appears to be less happy, not wanting to go i'd look into it further. Also talk to your provider and find out what types of activities she is doing with your daughter to hep her learn at an age appropriate rate. perhaps your provider does playdates and outings with other 3 yr olds and maybe she is looking into taking another child in her care that is closer to your daughters age.
    i am sure your daughter is taking on a big sister role with the little ones and she probably quite enjoys helping out and entertaining them. it is a great way for her to gain leadership skills, patience, understanding and being a role model.

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
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    I agree with what kassies mom is saying ....also if your daughter has a shorter nap then the little ones this is a great opportunity for the provider to do more advanced things with her ....letter/number recognition, puzzles, more advanced crafts.ect

  5. #5
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    I have one four year old in my care and all the others are 2 and younger. It's just the way the cycle goes sometimes and with limited numbers, and therefore smaller turnover of clients, there will be times when one child has a bigger age difference than the others.

    What I will do with my four year old DC child, is whilst the others are napping after lunch, we work on letters and numbers. And have some one-on-one time. It's something none of the others get.

    Like your child, my current 4 year old has been with me since he was 10 months and before that, I had his older sister who is now in Grade 1. He's happy here. He knows what the program is, he knows what my rules are and he knows he's loved.

  6. #6
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    An older child will always love to act as a "teacher" for the younger ones. This helps the older one become even more responsible and proficient because the best way to learn is by teaching. If she is teaching the younger ones about the alphabet or numbers or animals or anything, she is deepening her knowledge of the subject because by teaching she is really having to process the knowledge on a deeper level. They can also help serve, clean up and do all of the things that the "babies" can't do and they really love this. It gives them a real sense of responsibility and a type of gratification that one can only get by helping others. It helps create empathy and patience as well.

    Older daycare children love being the "big kid" and as long as the daycare provider is capitalizing on this, guiding their efforts and keeping them stimulated and active it can be a very good thing. A child who is the youngest at home or an only child will especially love this special status because they may be being "babied" at home and might not get many opportunities to be independent and strong.

    You will find that if managed properly, that older child will shine and progress even faster than if she was in a group of children just their own age.

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