Thank you all so much!!! I feel a bit better having a few new tricks up my sleeve. We have eased off except for potty sitting before bath (just routine). She has no pattern to bowel movements, but can hold her pee for a looong time (big dry patches). I do think it is a control issue.

Might back off for a month or so completely, take a few days off work and try the panty idea. Will update as soon as we give it a go!

Thanks again. You guys are a VAULT of information.