I have to console the parents too???

[Rachael]

If you don't draw a line in the sand, if you enable them, this will continue. I would suggest gently putting some boundaries in place. I put the boundaries in place from the get go. I will not issue my cellphone number to day care clients, I have a voice-message service on my house phone, I check e-mail first thing in the morning, at nap time and after close. If there is a real emergency, the longest it will take me to reply is in the morning if we are out for our walk. 2 hours only when I am not in contact. In all the years I've done this, there has never been a true emergency.

If a parent is calling to tell me information they forgot to give me at drop off, then a voice-message or an e-mail will enable them to do so. Neither requires me to reply. If they are calling to say they are picking up early, then again, they can leave a message and let me know, and I'll acknowledge receipt of that when I can.

Your difficulty is now to change the situation from what it current is, to one which is more acceptable to you. Firstly, I would explain to them that although I understand this is a very stressful time for them, they have to trust you. They chose you to care for their child based on your methods and experience and you take care of every child you are trusted with - not just the ones whose parents beg you to.

I would also explain that although I understand that texting throughout the day helps them feel in constant contact with their child, in reality it's you who is being messaged all the time and it is taking you away from fully interacting with the children. After all, I can't paint, colour, teach, hug and kiss and all those tasks which require two hands, if I am endlessly picking up messages and feeling obligated to respond to them. It might just take a couple of seconds, but it endlessly interrupts the routine or task/activity being performed. Ask them to consider how it would be if all the parents in your care messaged as frequently and ask them to consider how disruptive it is. As them how they would feel if you spent an equal amount of time x (# of other kids you care for), away from their child, replying to parents.

Once you've done that - ignore all the messages and all the e-mails until it's convenient. Either when the children are napping or for a very brief time at the end of the day - choose one time a day to reply. That sends a message that this is the first chance you've had, that you are busy, that you are getting the messages but you are not at their beck-and-call during business hours.

Also, I'd suggest for future clients, something I started doing a few years ago. During interview, I explain that for the first week or so, when it's a convenient time, I will send them a couple of photos of their child. Tell them they are welcome to call and check on their child for the first week or so if they have to leave whilst their child is upset but you will not be holding the phone up to their child's ear as it's confuses them. Explain to them that if they do call at an inconvenient time, it will go to voicemail and you will respond when you get a chance - it's just that you are busy with the children. I also explain to parents that although they might be paying me, my priority is the care of their children and so I can't always leave them to answer a phone. Most parents can understand that the child is my priority not the adult when it's stated so clearly.

An example I give is painting or a messy activity which requires supervision. I explain that in order to answer the telephone, I need to wash my own hands, wash all the children's hand and dry them so paint doesn't get all over the walls whilst my attention is split, and only then can I answer the phone. I make it clear that it's quite an inconvenience to do that if a parent is ringing for no particular reason and I explain that if every parent does that twice a day, it's 12 interruptions.