She wants to put off my full payment -- should I say yes just this one time?

[Lou]

As much as I feel for this woman, this will continue and continue if you allow it to happen. She needs to see paying you as part of her important bills, and not "oh she won't mind, she's just doing it for extra money anyways". She can not be late unless she intends on paying the late fee. If you do decide to let this one slide, make it extremely clear that this is a one time only option, and will not be allowed to happen again.

How did you respond to her when she called you?

[5 Little Monkeys]

The difference between me and the power company is that I only have 4-5 families who make up my paycheque whereas they have thousands. If one of my daycare families doesn't pay, than it's MY bills that don't get paid. I can't run a business if my own power gets shut off.

If a parent needs to only pay half of a bill (and I've been there!!) than they need to phone and make arrangements with the cable, hydro, phone companies because they can afford to have her pay in increments. Her daycare can not and without daycare she won't be going to work to make money to pay the other bills. Just my opinion...

[SevenwatersDaughter]

Thank you everyone for your advice. Grr I feel so torn! On the one hand, I want to do her a good turn. On the other, I called up my friend to ask her opinion (I know she will keep mum about it) and she said this lady has been through a couple day cares already.

Plus, two of my full-time girls moved away this summer, so I only have this one boy and another full-time girl (and her bill is already lower than its supposed to be because she was sick and I have a policy where parents have ten days to use throughout the year where they only have to pay half price, be it a day when their child is sick or they are out of town, etc.). I am interviewing and advertising to fill more space but it's just those two right now, but I still have my payments to make.

I told her on the phone that I'd think about it and that I had to look at my finances. I guess I could in all honesty wait until Friday for HALF the payment, but I absolutely will not provide childcare when I haven't been paid at least a week in advance.

What really grinds my gears is that she told me "I did set aside the money, but it's my hydro got cut off and it's baby's birthday tomorrow"

[bright sparks]

The difference between me and the power company is that I only have 4-5 families who make up my paycheque whereas they have thousands. If one of my daycare families doesn't pay, than it's MY bills that don't get paid. I can't run a business if my own power gets shut off.

If a parent needs to only pay half of a bill (and I've been there!!) than they need to phone and make arrangements with the cable, hydro, phone companies because they can afford to have her pay in increments. Her daycare can not and without daycare she won't be going to work to make money to pay the other bills. Just my opinion...

I totally hear what you are saying 5LM and that's why I said there is the advantage of us being business owners and having the ability to assess each circumstance as it comes up. Maybe in a particular instance as a one off, the result of a payment being late won't actually result in the dcprovider not being able to pay her bills. I simply said that I think for me it is worth some consideration. One of those considerations is whether or not it will have a negative impact on me. If this is a first time request and something being offered due to extenuating circumstances and it doesn't cause me a financial problem to offer a break, then there wouldn't be an issue. Regardless of whether or not I felt bad for someone or not, if my bills wouldn't be paid as a result, then there wouldn't be a question of should I shouldn't I.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Again, just my opinion, but if you are going to stew over this and resent her for it than don't do her the favour. If she's gone through a couple other dc's already there must be a reason why. If you happen to know who they are maybe you could contact them and ask?

I understand we all have different priorities but IMO bills come before birthdays, especially at such a young age where they will not even remember it. It also wouldn't be the end of the world if she paid you on time and celebrated the birthday a different day.

[bright sparks]

I understand we all have different priorities but IMO bills come before birthdays, especially at such a young age where they will not even remember it. It also wouldn't be the end of the world if she paid you on time and celebrated the birthday a different day.

I agree, birthday parties are generally not on the day anyway so to do after next payday wouldn't actually be out of the ordinary. I think it's more likely that she is feeling the guilt of an inadequate parent going through a divorce and she wants to make her child happy. It's not rational thinking but I can totally accept that regardless this is how a lot of parents act when they are feeling emotionally unstable and flustered during a difficult period. Not thinking straight is to be expected and I would imagine throwing a birthday bash and seeing the child happy will make her temporarily feel better. It may seem ridiculous to those not going through it but in that moment what may be best, may not be clear in ones mind. Do whatever is going to fit in with your business best. If as a result of a good will gesture it leaves you in hardship then it's a no brainer choice. Regardless of this person circumstances and their reasons for doing x, y and z and our opinions on her choices, good or bad, it's just something you need to be careful about moving forward to prevent being taken further advantage of, or leaving you in a tight spot. It's always easy to sit on the other side of the fence assuming, but in reality we tend not to have a full picture of things. I'm Sure you will do what works best for you SWD.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I totally hear what you are saying 5LM and that's why I said there is the advantage of us being business owners and having the ability to assess each circumstance as it comes up. Maybe in a particular instance as a one off, the result of a payment being late won't actually result in the dcprovider not being able to pay her bills. I simply said that I think for me it is worth some consideration. One of those considerations is whether or not it will have a negative impact on me. If this is a first time request and something being offered due to extenuating circumstances and it doesn't cause me a financial problem to offer a break, then there wouldn't be an issue. Regardless of whether or not I felt bad for someone or not, if my bills wouldn't be paid as a result, then there wouldn't be a question of should I shouldn't I.

I know what you mean, having a parent pay late wouldn't result in me not making my own payments but they don't need to know that. Ask once and be told yes would open it up to being asked more times IMO and I'm not a fan of that. If I was doing this for extra money than ya sure pay me whenever but this is my income. Like I said, I think I am pretty flexible on most things but this is one area that I am not. I actually find it very disrespectful that parents even think it's okay to ask as it puts their dcprovider in a very uncomfortable spot and makes them feel like the bad guy if they say no. I know what it's like to not be able to afford to pay all my monthly bills so I know that most larger companies have payment options. Small businesses don't normally and that is why so many small businesses go under. I don't want to be in that statistic. I think this parent needs to pay her dcprovider so that she has a place to send her child so she can continue to work. IMO, if finances are tough and you are placing a party ahead of a bill, you have budgeting issues and need to fix that.

Hearing sob stories (with the intent to get out of something) is a bit of a pet peeve of mine though because we all have them....we just don't all use it as a crutch. I hate to see dcproviders get taken advantage of! Sorry for my rant

[Secondtimearound]

That would be the mature thing to do ! What one of us hasn't "kept" a birthday until payday ! It seems she has to deal with her circumstances . Personally I try very hard not to let my life effect someone else's negatively . If I had to choose between a birthday or dayhome fees I know what I would choose !!!

[SevenwatersDaughter]

So she shows up today and he's in brand new sneakers. My daughter's eye swelled up shut through the night so I told her that I can take him today but he'll be coming with us to the walk-in or emerg, she said fine. Then she said, "Oh, I'll probably be five or later today." When my day care contract clearly states I'm only open until 4:30. UGH charging late fees then.

[5 Little Monkeys]

What did she say when you told her you close at 430 and would have to charge the late fee?

Parents being late happens but if she knows ahead of time she'll be late why didn't she make plans for someone else to pick up?

It doesn't sound like she respects you. That wouldn't sit well with me.