She wants to put off my full payment -- should I say yes just this one time?

[Wonderwiper]

These new observations that you've shared with us show this lady in a bit of a different light. They are your red flags and I suspect any kindness you offer may come back to bite you in the arse. NEXT!!!!!!

[Fun&care]

First of all, we don't know for sure if she is the one who bought the sneakers, correct? Even so, all too often I have found from personal experience that just because someone complains that they don't have money, I've often found this is not the case at all. I have a sister like that. I listened to her complain for months about how her and her fiancé so badly wanted to get a house but didn't have the down payment etc. I felt had for her and ALMOST offered to help out until....I FOUND OUT THEY MAKE MORE MONEY THAN WE DO?!?! Heck my mother is like that too. By many standards my parents are considered to be pretty well off yet my mother has the gull to complain that they have no money. I have so many more examples but I think you get my drift. It's often not that they don't have money...it's how they prioritize their finances.

Second, why are you even letting her pick up late? If you have set hours, then you have set hours. Call her back and tell her you actually made plans tonight you forgot about and she needs to be there before 4:30. With a pay cheque.

I'm not feeling like this woman is very respectful, she has a lot of guts picking up late after asking to pay late. Just no.

[mickyc]

I agree! My answer to her this morning when she said she would be picking up late would be NO I am sorry but I close at 4:30 and you need to be here by then. I do not take being told lightly especially by my clients. This is my house and my rules and my hours are my hours. Have a late pickup fee (and late payment fee) do not mean that just because you pay it you can use it. I also have in my contract that consistent late pickups and late payments may result in termination. It sounds to me like this lady is taking advantage of you and is going to continue if you let it happen.

Did you remind her that you have a late payment fee? Is your late payment fee enough to keep families from not being late? I charge $1 per minute and anything after 20 minutes is full rate. This lady is having a hard enough time paying your daily rate so how is she going to be able to afford paying late fees on top of it.

You need to get strict with her, set clear boundaries and fast.

[kassiemom]

I would give her a break but let her know that its a one time thing. Having only been there 4 weeks she is probably getting her payments all figured out. I agree its a business and we are all in the same boat but if you can afford to let her be a few days late this once then i would help her out.

[bright sparks]

First of all, we don't know for sure if she is the one who bought the sneakers, correct? Even so, all too often I have found from personal experience that just because someone complains that they don't have money, I've often found this is not the case at all. I have a sister like that. I listened to her complain for months about how her and her fiancé so badly wanted to get a house but didn't have the down payment etc. I felt had for her and ALMOST offered to help out until....I FOUND OUT THEY MAKE MORE MONEY THAN WE DO?!?! Heck my mother is like that too. By many standards my parents are considered to be pretty well off yet my mother has the gull to complain that they have no money. I have so many more examples but I think you get my drift. It's often not that they don't have money...it's how they prioritize their finances.

Second, why are you even letting her pick up late? If you have set hours, then you have set hours. Call her back and tell her you actually made plans tonight you forgot about and she needs to be there before 4:30. With a pay cheque.

I'm not feeling like this woman is very respectful, she has a lot of guts picking up late after asking to pay late. Just no.

New sneakers do not in any way prove that there actually isn't a money issue. These could have easily been a birthday gift or bought by her ex or a grandparent etc. What is however the main issue now is that this woman is all over the place with your contract....You need to put your foot down now, not roll over and allow her to pick up late. You are allowing her to break your contract by letting her pick up late. If you don't hold her to the signed contract and policies, then really what was the point in having them in the first place. By allowing her this one time to call the shots and decide that she is picking up late without you correcting her, then you are for sure leaving yourself open to further issues. There is a difference between asking if they can do a late pick up and telling you they will be doing a late pick up. Who's running what here?? I would for sure call her and state that you have some concerns over how in the first few weeks of this arrangement she is already breaking contract on more than one occasion. Let her know that you have policies for a reason so therefore she has to stick to them. Advise her as per your contract that pick up must be by 4:30 otherwise late charges will apply and must be paid in full prior to further care being provided. She clearly doesn't hold you and your business in very high regard so you need to put her in her place. I would also just switch to weekly payment if you intend on keeping this child on to prevent future issues with her managing to pay on time. You need to confront these issues head on, face to face right away to stop this from where it looks to be going which isn't a good direction at all.

[Secondtimearound]

People fall into personalities and she sounds like a user . Her child's shoes maybe from someone else who feels sorry for her and is trying to help out because this personality type always make sure everyone knows her business !!!the fact that she is now telling you "her" hours shows zero respect because again that personality type now assumes your just as invested in her life if not more so because you are actually trying to figure it out !!
I had a friend who's husband left her , with 3 kids , she owned her own house , had family but became this huge taker . We were struggling along with four kids and one income and it was nearing Christmas . She was picked by 3 different organizations to sponsor her . She received 3 turkey dinners , presents and money . While we couldn't afford much she was given tons and I remember her changing into this person who expected everyone to help her ! She never thought once of giving back !
My advice is draw a line in the sand so to speak and move on if she crosses it !!

[Lou]

I second the the question: Why did you let her tell YOU that she was picking up past closing? Did you remind her that you close at 4:30? I would have said "Actually I close at 4:30 and have family commitments after that time. Will you be having someone else pick him up by then? When you have it sorted out let me know by noon"

[Lou]

I'm so irked for you! Gah! I would be sending a text that states: "This morning I was caught off guard by your comment about picking up ____ after 5pm. As you will remember in the contract that you signed that I close at precisely 4:30pm as I have family commitments after that time. Also, regarding payment, I can not be flexible in moving around when fees are due. Please arrive tomorrow with full fees for the next two weeks in order to maintain your daycare space. Thank you for your cooperation." Send it!!

[Rachael]

Although I agree that the time to have spoken up was when she said she'd be here after close, I also know what it's like when something so unexpected happens, that for a while you stand like a deer caught in the headlights and in the meantime, the parent nips out the door and is gone.

However, I strongly believe that if you don't enforce your contracts, you can't expect your clients to have any respect for them either. If you don't charge your overdue fee, if you mutely accept late pick ups, even if it comes with a financial penalty, then you are dismissing your own contracts and clients will do the same. Before you know it, this parent will be ringing your doorbell 10 mins before opening, paying late, showing up late, and the list goes on.

It's time to sit down with her. Explain that you close promptly at 4.30pm. For the occasional, unexpected late caused by circumstances like a flat tire, you have a late charge to compensate for your time but it's also there to deter late pick ups because you don't work extended hours. If she cannot be at the day care for closure time, she needs to send someone who can be. This is not negotiable. It is not an open to plan to pick up after closing hours.

The sneakers - although I too would have noticed then - you can't presume that those weren't a gift and since it's the child's birthday, it could be that grandparents/family asked what he needed and this is a birthday gift. I know how it feels though - it's like the parents who moan about struggling as they scan through their new iphone to show you photos from their vacation! LOL

[SevenwatersDaughter]

I agree, I was kind of just caught off guard. I've always struggled to be assertive (but have gotten a LOT better!). Starting Monday, things will be back to normal... no, NO exceptions to the contract... and if she doesn't like it she can take a hike!

Thanks for all the support and advice ladies, it really helped me feel much better about this situation! Much love! Have a great weekend!