How do you teach a child to self soothe..

[Samantha33]

Hi Ladies, HELP!!!!!! All these years I've never had a crier like this. He goes to bed and cries (now he's down to about 10 min. crying. He wakes up and immediately screams at the top of his lungs. His Mom and I are on the same page and use CIO. As soon as I walk in to get him he stops. Immediately! He went down today cried for 10 min., slept 25 and woke up screaming. Not crying, screaming. I let him scream. He's a year old. His Mom knows she didn't prepare him properly for daycare. He needs to learn to self soothe but I have know idea if he can be taught this or how. He is breastfed but that seems to be coming to an end. She would nurse him before all naps and he sleeps in the living room in a playpen at home. This is so someone could watch him (insert huge eye roll) Except of course for at night. She said as soon as he settles in at daycare she would switch him to his crib all the time. All my kids learned nap time is nap time and no one comes out till it's over but I'm afraid CAS is going to show up at my door. He's so loud. Any suggestions. Any pleassssse. I'm begging. I don't want to give him up, he's good except for naptimes.

[Secondtimearound]

Well it didn't take long for my own dd to get it , three days . She was nursed and held for naps ( in my defence she was never going into anyone's care but mine ) day one , she was 16 months old , she screamed for 3.5 hours and fell asleep standing up ! Ugh day 2 1.5 hrs and day 3 half an hour . I put on music but now would def use white noise .
The trick seems to be not going in at all , it defeats and prolongs in my opinion , I have used the same method with 2 dcks . I suggest as long as he's safe and moms on board just leave him to it ! Furthest room , white noise outside his room so he doesn't keep others awake .
It's so hard but he will learn in your care this is how's it's done , one of my moms never helped at all and her child only napped here never at home , at 14 months would just play until she fell asleep , young , loving momma . She just didn't have the skills and didn't want her to cry but here it was truly only a couple of days and it was over . She would wake up after 20 min and momma would get her up but not here ! 2 hrs is what she did here !!
Good luck ! You've entered the battle !!

[Crayola kiddies]

Try swaddling him (so that he can't stand up) but yes CIO and don't go back and I have a fan in each room (all my dcks sleep in separate rooms) plus a fan in the hallway ... It will get better just give him time to figure out that crying gets him nowhere.

[Samantha33]

Crayola, funny thing is he doesn't stand up he mostly lays down and looks like he's sleeping but screams. (I have monitor) I do have a fan in the room "and" the next room the other child is sleeping in. He was keeping her awake. I don't go back in until it's time to get him up. Mom says if I find something that will help him learn to sleep better she will "implement" it at home as well. She really is trying. She uses white noise at home as well. She lets him CIO and she says he does fall asleep, but once he wakes after about 20-25 min. he doesn't go back to sleep or stop screaming. I didn't mention he is part time 3-4 full days a week. He's been here for 6 days altogether. Next week is 4 days. I told Mom at pick up that I'd like him transitioned by Oct. 6 because I have another little full timer starting and want to have to transition him when he starts. I've also skipped his morning nap (partly cause he cries and only naps 20 min.). We walk and he can nap in the stroller in he's that tired, but he doesn't. He's fine waiting till 12:30 to go nap. I'm beginning to think it's just a wait and see type of thing. If he doesn't settle he'll be gone by end of October. Still open to any suggestions though.

[superfun]

I had one that started mid august and his mom warned me that he would take a while to start napping well. I guess he does that to her too. Any time they change his schedule or go to families homes, he screams instead of naps. So right from the start, we did CIO, and if he woke up in the middle I left him until the end of nap time. It was actually all her idea, even though that's what i would have done anyways. He is so loud! After about a week, the other kids were able to ignore him when they slept (all in their own rooms with fans or white noise). It was a rough week when all the other kids were not sleeping well. Anyways, it took just over 3 weeks, and now he sleeps well most days.

[Samantha33]

Thanks Superfun, it's reassuring to know there might an end to the screaming.

[bright sparks]

I would absolutely tell mom right now to put her child in their room for every naptime starting today. All your hard work during the week is being undone when she puts him to sleep in the living room over the weekend knowing that someone is there and then back to you on Monday is like day 1 weaning him off it again. There has to be consistency...which is only when things are done 100%. I would also recommend you turn the monitor off for your own sake. How does it help to watch the kid scream? It only gives more focus to the issue which isn't helpful. White noise if you'd like although I have never bothered with it and let them cry their little heart out, just don't go back in. If this is not starting to at least change somewhat, even a little, within a week or so then it's because mom isn't doing the same at home so there is no consistency. Yes it may take a while but I really wouldn't worry about it...let him cry. That is how he will learn to self soothe when he realizes there will be no other option coming to swoop in and do it for him like mama does! Mom sounds like she is the cause of the delay in settling in.