This might sound harsh, but I'm not trying to be. The problem is that you are giving her the option to stay home. She has learned that if she makes a big enough stink then you will give in and let her stay home...so, she will continue to pitch a fit in the mornings until she realizes that 100% of the time you will follow through in what you want her to do. If you want her to go to school, then she must go to school. Refuses to go on the bus or be driven? I'm not understanding this. She is 4 and you are the parent. Give her a big hug, tell her you love her and that you will se her when she comes home and put her on the bus every single day. Regardless of her tantrum.If you would like to wait a year or two on the bus then put her in the car, drive her to school and drop her off with her teacher or yard duty staff. After a couple weeks of consistency, routine, and follow through she will let go of the attempts to sway you, and begin to let herself enjoy her day at school. It's hard to say goodbye to your kids when they are crying and asking for you, I completely empathize...but kids shouldn't get what they want by crying and tantrumming. I hope it gets better soon!!