DCKs all call me mommy

[ebhappydc]

Hi all - When I started my daycare 4 years ago, I referred to myself as Miss E with the kids. However, somehow, it just hasn't stuck over the years and the daycare kids all call me mom, or mommy, even if I kindly correct them. I think it's because I have older children of my own and they hear them call me mom and the daycare kids take their cue from them. It never really bothered me, and I've talked to the parents about it, and they're all fine with it. When a new child comes in I always refer to myself at Miss E (easier to say than Mrs. E), but it never sticks because the other long-time dcks call me mom, and it's hard to break the cycle. I wonder if it's confusing for the kids themselves? The reason I'm questioning it now is because I was at a party yesterday and I was talking about my daycare and one of the women asked me what the kids refer to me as, and she was shocked that they call me mommy. She thought that name should only be reserved for the real mom. Well, I have tried to change it, but the older dcks even tease me a bit in fun and call me 'mom' extra loud with a grin to boot to show me they're not changing their name for me. So I let it go. I tell them 'ok, I'm your daycare mommy". How is it for all you dedicated 'mommies' out there? The only bad part for me is when real mommy comes for pick up and child asks 'mom?' and we both say 'yes?'lol...

[mickyc]

I personally thinks that's a little strange. I would continue to correct the kids. As a parent I would not like my child calling someone else mom.

[Rachael]

We all get called Mommy from time to time but we normally continue to correct it. We aren't their mommies and to be honest, even if their Moms were saying they understood and were okay with it, deep down it has to hurt. Bad enough that the moms have all the guilt associated with working outside the home and not being able to be home with their child in person, no need to rub salt in the wounds.

It's not that hard to change it - like anything, consistency and firmness go a long way to end unwanted behaviours. It doesn't sound like you are committed to changing this, and maybe enjoy it but IMO, it's unprofessional and inappropriate not to correct it every single time.

[ebhappydc]

Thanks, yes, I will be firmer. I definitely don't want to hurt the parents and feel terrible thinking that I have. I filled new spots this past September and the children don't really talk yet, so it'll be easier to instill now. Perhaps if I don't respond to the older dck when he calls me mom, he'll start using Miss E. I've corrected him enough times that he should get it by now. Thanks again for all the advice.

[Lee-Bee]

Most kids go through a stage very early on (around 12months) where they use the few words they have in larger general contexts...so all ladies are mom. Because mom is a lady, mom responds, and I don't have other words to use to yet know what to call other ladies.

BUT, kids older than like 12-18months (ish) should have the language, knowledge and understanding to know that mom is mom...so if you have 2 and 3 year olds calling you mom it is likely because they don't know your real name and have just assumed that is your name because it is what you respond to. Teach them that yes you are "mom" to your children but that you are "Mrs E" to them.

And I do believe that it hurts, a lot, to most if not all moms to have their child calling someone else the special "mom' they can understand this for the brief period where all ladies are being called it but past that it just would hurt.

[kassiemom]

Don't feel bad. young children view an adult female as a mommy and a male as a daddy. Heck my 4 yr old told me a Daddy teaches them Gym at school. I refer to myself as Ms Melly but my DCK's all started off calling me mommy because thats what my DD calls me. now it is a mix as they grow and i'm sure they will stop eventually. My DCG called me mommy and her own mom Mama. so she was differentiating between us.
My Daughter went to home daycare for a short period and called her provider Kelly well Kelly's own Daughter called her Kelly instead of Mommy so it can go both ways
I also try not to answer to mommy but its second nature isn't it?
Maybe be a bit more firm with the older ones and say that around the new kids they need to refer to you as Miss E.

[SevenwatersDaughter]

If the parents don't have a problem with it, I wouldn't either. By all means correct them if it makes you uncomfortable but I don't see it as a big deal.