Friend taking advantage.

[bright sparks]

I had to re-read both your posts again @3littlemonkeys so my understanding is that after school you don't have space for this child but the child just shows up at your house, or comes home with you from the bus because mum doesn't show up. Is this correct? That means this "so called friend" is putting you in a position to operate illegally being over ratio.....friend, I do not think so. I think a passive approach to this is not the way to go in my personal opinion, she needs to be told honestly and to the point ASAP. Dropping the child on the driveway is neglect, passing over responsibility to you, without prior request or permission and this poor child!! Anyway, back to the original question of how to tell her...

I would be saying that you have noticed that this "back up" care arrangement has gotten out of hand and that x, y and z actions are completely unacceptable, were never discussed and she needs to make alternative arrangements immediately. You don't owe her more than that, especially as she hasn't shown you an ounce of respect. She is the one who owes you an explanation not the other way around. Why is it that we go through these times of letting those we are closest to treat us so bad?? Sometimes I have to try very hard to own that I allow people to treat me as such and put a stop to it. Good Luck confronting her.