Does anyone every have "buyers remorse" when it comes to picking a daycare family?

[torontokids]

I have agreed to take on a new DCK. They have given notice to their current provider and are dropping off my deposit and contract this week. Something doesn't sit right though for me. I felt like I had to make a quick decision because they wanted to inform their provider and I was not even sure about them. They seem nice but there is just something that makes me feel uneasy. They had been asked to find alternative care by their current provider (could be a red flag but they have been very transparent about the issue and hid nothing), I asked to speak to the provider before making a decision but the awkward thing was that this was hard to do as the provider would then be given notice and would know they are looking. This provider has agreed to talk to me tomorrow but they may just be happy to be rid of them, the call may not even be helpful. I feel committed to them even though I don't have a contract/deposit (because they gave notice with the idea they would be leaving to come to me). I don't know part of the uneasiness may be that this child is young (14 mos) and he is replacing a 2.5 yr old making my group feel younger and younger all the time. Is this just fear of the unknown, is this my gut telling me something? I have never taken on a family I was so nervous about. Have I just been lucky?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Bit confused....if they were asked to find alternate care why would it matter if you spoke to current provider? Did they say why they were asked to find other care?

I've only had one family I took on and shouldn't have. During our meeting I knew instantly that they would likely be the first family I had to terminate and I was right but I needed to fill the spot.

I would talk to the current provider and than make a decision.

[torontokids]

It was suggested by their provider they look for other care as it wasn't working out for them. I asked to speak to the provider to get a better sense of the issues before accepting them. They made the valid point (or so I thought at the time) that they need to give notice before I can speak with her because why else would a provider need to talk to me unless they would be attending my daycare. I realize now I felt pressured by this family to make a decision I wasn't ready to make. I should have told them to talk to their provider to find out the details of how much notice they should give and I should have spoken to the provider first. I think my "buyers remorse" may be because I felt pressure to make a decision quick and I feel like I have a responsibility to them because they gave notice but I also feel responsible that this has to work out because they already had one bad experience.

[Rachael]

When something doesn't make sense, it's usually not true.

You know what I mean. We've all had kids or people we know try and talk us around to believing them when it just doesn't quite add up.

If their provider told them it wasn't working out and that they needed to find alternative care, then why would it be an issue if you spoke to her? Sure, they'd need to give notice and sure, if you spoke to their current carer she'd know they were looking but if it really was a the carer's suggestion, I don't see what the issue would be. You'd think she would have been expecting calls and pleased to get them as it would indicate her clients were finding a new carer as they said she'd suggested.

You are not committed until you have a signed document in your hand and a deposit in your account. You don't need to feel buyer's remorse, if, after speaking to this carer, things are not as the parents told you. If they have mis-represented the facts, then back away fast.

If they can do this to one carer, (the potential mis-representation of why they are seeking new day care), then they can and will treat you the same way.

Speak to the current carer.
Ask her why they are leaving.
Ask her directly if "things weren't working out" and if she suggested looking elsewhere - just to determine how honest they have been.
Then make a decision.
But you aren't obligated to take them even if you have offered them the place, if they have lied.

I don't like feeling pressured into making fast decisions. My teens know not to call me to seek permission there and then for anything because any decision I have to make quickly, will likely not be the favourable one they hope for. LOL

[Lee-Bee]

If you don't yet have a contract and deposit in hand then technically nothing is confirmed.

Before you get and sign the contract, talk to the caregiver. If the other family gave that caregiver notice before signing with you then they put themselves in limbo as neither you or the other caregiver are now responsible for providing care. Ask clear, direct questions to the other caregiver. Does the caregiver think that the issues she was experiencing will follow the child to your care. Are there issues with the parents. Was it merely a not a good fit scenario or was the child/family not a good fit for group care. etc.

You do no one a service by taking on a child/family that you know you will be letting go in a few weeks because it isn't working.

That said, the child and family may be a great fit with you!!