Parent meetings

[Samantha33]

bright sparks, this will be a little long. The first Mom puts her 23 1/2 month old down for the night at 6:30 or earlier. She doesn't nap well her as she is getting min. 12 hrs. sleep at home at night. I need two hrs. The other mat leave Mom, due to go back to work end of Nov., has been arguing with me over the schedule since she began mat leave. I take new siblings in part time 2 weeks before Mom goes back to work. I do it on opposite days that the first sibling comes. She wants the kids to come on the same days. From what I've seen happen in the past, when two siblings come at the same time the youngest (newest child) looks to the older child for comfort. I dont' want the interference of the second child while I'm trying to connect with the younger child., this has nothing to do with money. The way she wants it it's more money for me and more work. I want what's best for me and the child.

[bright sparks]

bright sparks, this will be a little long. The first Mom puts her 23 1/2 month old down for the night at 6:30 or earlier. She doesn't nap well her as she is getting min. 12 hrs. sleep at home at night. I need two hrs. The other mat leave Mom, due to go back to work end of Nov., has been arguing with me over the schedule since she began mat leave. I take new siblings in part time 2 weeks before Mom goes back to work. I do it on opposite days that the first sibling comes. She wants the kids to come on the same days. From what I've seen happen in the past, when two siblings come at the same time the youngest (newest child) looks to the older child for comfort. I dont' want the interference of the second child while I'm trying to connect with the younger child., this has nothing to do with money. The way she wants it it's more money for me and more work. I want what's best for me and the child.

First off I have to chuckle at your this is going to be long. I immediately thought "huh" where is the rest...you did see how loooong my post was right lol

Anyway, First issue with napping. You have every right to ask for alterations to be made to their bedtime routine if it is negatively impacting your daycare routine and your request is in the best interest of the child. I don't think a meeting is required for this though. It should be said face to face so you can discuss both perspectives of why this is or is not a good idea or why it will or will not work for either of you. I don't think this is necessarily going to be so long a conversation that it couldn't be at the door with a possible follow up and summary of "plan of action" via email. They are either going to make the changes or they are not. Yes some providers think its overstepping the mark, others like myself think it's being frank about the reality of the situation before it. I see no point in being frustrated with a situation by not telling it as it is for fear of overstepping the mark with the parent. You are already butting heads by the sounds of it so there isn't anything to lose. You aren't telling them they are parenting wrong or that they should do as you say. You are simply saying that as a result of x, y and z their child will not nap in the day. Yes you need your break but this, I think anyway, should be put to the parents in a way that this is made about the child's best interests regardless of the duration of your break. They will be much more likely to be receptive of change with this approach I think. I don't feel this requires a sit down meeting. She is either going to do as you request and the sleep pattern during the day will change, or she wont and you will be left with the choice to grin and bare it or terminate. I feel for you for the naptime, I totally do...it's rough, but regardless, the parent's only care about themselves and their child not the impact their actions have on your day.

Second parent I'm a bit confused about. Mat leave is 12 months right? And this is an argument that has been going on for how long? Seriously nip this in the bud. Don't have a sit down meeting with this parent after nearly a year of arguing over it. This is how you do it....take it or leave it lady. I totally get why she would be frustrated with the opposite days for the pair, and I personally have done this 3 times and wouldn't find that the 2 weeks prior to returning to work with this kind of transition would be enough to eliminate the potential problems...also depends very much on the relationship between the siblings in the first place. But the fact is that it is besides the point and really doesn't matter. This is your business and this is how you practice regardless of how others work and regardless of the mothers request. You have both had enough time to budge on this and neither have, so you need to nip this in the bud. Your way or no way. It seems ridiculous to terminate to me over this, but that being said, I would have sorted this a long time ago but now it's close to crunch time and a decision has to be made.

As for how people communicate with parents about issues, I do not like to have an extended conversation at the door about problematic behaviour in front of the child. I don't think it's good practice. I also work collaboratively with my families and I am a disciplinarian as I am a caregiver, I don't pick and choice what roles I play and don't based on what I do or don't want to do as I think consistency is key and it's imperative that all caregivers back each other up. Each to their own and I really don't judge but I don't feel texting is the best method for important communication, just short and casual info and reminders and I also think it is in the best interest of the child and also makes for a much better experience in my career to give each individual family and child the care and attention they need if it means the child gets even better care. I will however do a lot more for a family who is as equally invested and committed to the child's care as I am. I try to screen as best as possible from the point of my telephone interview so that I don't take on families who don't share the same philosophy as I do so I'm not dealing with these types of issues, but sometimes we can't avoid them.

In the situation with the spectrum child I cared for, had I not gone the extra mile I feel it would have been a disservice to the child. It was absolutely above and beyond my role, but I was thinking first and foremost of the child's needs, not the inconvenience it would be to me. I may have potentially put that child on a better path as a result, I offered myself as a support system to that parent and hopefully gave them the courage and support they needed to be open to the idea that their child may have issues and they should seek help where other parents who didn't have that kind of collaboration would have missed out on that level of care. Those situations can never be addressed via text, email or a 5 minute conversation at the door. Yes above and beyond the role of a home daycare provider, but I am a caregiver to my core and don't regret for one minute taking some time out of my personal life to offer a little extra to a child and family in need.