Parent meetings

[Samantha33]

Hi everyone, I'm just wondering how many have daycare parent meetings setup and how often; to discuss any differences you may have, such as different of opinions regarding the daycare and children.

[bright sparks]

The only times I set up a parents meeting is if there is a pretty significant behaviour issue that needs to be addressed in length and without the child present.

I have done this twice. The first time was for a 3 year old who had bad behaviour. Breaking toys by throwing them downstairs and smashing them up, throwing the entire container of crayons on the floor, throwing dishes ACROSS THE ROOM! Bare in mind this was my first daycare child going back some 9 years lol, and he was the same age as my own son back then and my only daycare kid so this was a major learning curve for me too. I sat with the parents and discussed how their was at least 1 major incident a day and given that the child was old enough to know that none of these behaviours were acceptable that I wanted to be on the same page as the parents so we could correct this. Needless to say all that came out of the parents mouths was hot air and empty promises. 2 weeks later I gave notice as his parents could not stand up to him so there was nothing else I could do.

More recently about 2011, I had a child who displayed many cluster behaviours on the spectrum. We talked lots face to face and over the phone and had a plan in place of how to handle these behaviours and I recorded all my observations and the parents made an appointment with a developmental paediatrician. I chose to request a face to face meeting to discuss my summary and compare home and daycare behaviours and really invested my time for this child. It did help and I think mum and I were a great team. Dad on the other hand was something else and due to this a few weeks later he opted to stay home with the child to work on things. Needless to say they have since divorced since mum felt the dad was making the issues worse by saying that he was not displaying any behaviours that weren't considered normal and the healthcare professionals didn't know what they were talking about. I also assume there was way more going on than I could possibly conceive lolol

Anyway, that was the long answer haha I say yes to parent meetings if the individual family are working collaboratively with you for the benefit of the child. That being said, if I take your OP literally you mention meeting to discuss difference of opinions regarding the daycare and children. I do things in my daycare my way with the intention of meeting multiple needs the best way I can. There is for sure flexibility in that too, in most cases. However, my policies are none negotiable, if they don't like the way I run my business it isn't up for negotiation and I don't believe a parent meeting is necessarily the way to go. I telephone conversation should suffice. I'm not wasting my precious family time trying to talk people into why my way is how I run things. Any differences in opinions in terms of styles of discipline or other aspects of childcare should have come up in interview and in contract so if they didn't like the way you do things they should have chosen a provider who had similar methods as them. Is this relative or am I way of the mark?? Maybe if you gave an example of what differences you are referring to, then perhaps I could be more specific.

[33 Daiseys]

I don't really know what you are referring to specifically, but I meet with my parents every fall to discuss how the child is doing, and to discuss any goals i will be working to. each meeting is about 30 minutes, at their home.

[Secondtimearound]

No I don't , I talk with parents daily and if there is a problem I text first and follow up at the next pick up . I'm getting better at picking families ( thank goodness) and state during interviews that I am not going to be the disciplinarian for their child , if there's any problem I can't handle then I'm giving notice . I purposely did not put a time for notice so if I would like to term I can , I would try to wait until the month paid for was over . I have used immediate termination twice ( for non payment) and once for behavioural. I seem to fill my positions and presently everyone is very happy so for me it works .

[mickyc]

I don't. If there is an issue I address it at pick up time. Never had an issue.

[Samantha33]

bright sparks, this will be a little long. The first Mom puts her 23 1/2 month old down for the night at 6:30 or earlier. She doesn't nap well her as she is getting min. 12 hrs. sleep at home at night. I need two hrs. The other mat leave Mom, due to go back to work end of Nov., has been arguing with me over the schedule since she began mat leave. I take new siblings in part time 2 weeks before Mom goes back to work. I do it on opposite days that the first sibling comes. She wants the kids to come on the same days. From what I've seen happen in the past, when two siblings come at the same time the youngest (newest child) looks to the older child for comfort. I dont' want the interference of the second child while I'm trying to connect with the younger child., this has nothing to do with money. The way she wants it it's more money for me and more work. I want what's best for me and the child.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't have meetings with the parents but if I felt it was needed I definitely would. For the most part, I just deal with issues at pick up time but if an issue needed more time or private time than I would schedule a meeting.

I have the same problem as you in regard to an almost 2 year old who is getting 11-12 hours sleep at night still. They say he naps at home but I really can't see it. He will lay in his playpen here and nap maybe 30-45 mins on a good day. He does lay in his playpen quietly though (now that I removed him from the nap room!! He naps in the dc kitchen) so I'm thinking he probably just rests in his crib at home for naps. I have mentioned this to the parents like "wow, he still sleeps that long? That would explain why he doesn't nap here." It brought on a conversation about what is typical for kids his age. To my knowledge they still put him down early. IMO, it is not my place to flat out say "You need to put him down later so he naps during the day for me" but if you feel that is something you want to discuss than that is up to you.

The sibling thing, I think you are right to request your transition the way you want. If mom doesn't like it she is more than welcome to find another provider. This is one of your policies and by the sounds of it, one she has known about for a long time. I am confused though why the money would be different? She likely wants them to come on the same days though so that she gets her last two weeks before going back to work as a "holiday" and that is understandable too but if you don't do your transitions that way than stand your ground.

[bright sparks]

bright sparks, this will be a little long. The first Mom puts her 23 1/2 month old down for the night at 6:30 or earlier. She doesn't nap well her as she is getting min. 12 hrs. sleep at home at night. I need two hrs. The other mat leave Mom, due to go back to work end of Nov., has been arguing with me over the schedule since she began mat leave. I take new siblings in part time 2 weeks before Mom goes back to work. I do it on opposite days that the first sibling comes. She wants the kids to come on the same days. From what I've seen happen in the past, when two siblings come at the same time the youngest (newest child) looks to the older child for comfort. I dont' want the interference of the second child while I'm trying to connect with the younger child., this has nothing to do with money. The way she wants it it's more money for me and more work. I want what's best for me and the child.

First off I have to chuckle at your this is going to be long. I immediately thought "huh" where is the rest...you did see how loooong my post was right lol

Anyway, First issue with napping. You have every right to ask for alterations to be made to their bedtime routine if it is negatively impacting your daycare routine and your request is in the best interest of the child. I don't think a meeting is required for this though. It should be said face to face so you can discuss both perspectives of why this is or is not a good idea or why it will or will not work for either of you. I don't think this is necessarily going to be so long a conversation that it couldn't be at the door with a possible follow up and summary of "plan of action" via email. They are either going to make the changes or they are not. Yes some providers think its overstepping the mark, others like myself think it's being frank about the reality of the situation before it. I see no point in being frustrated with a situation by not telling it as it is for fear of overstepping the mark with the parent. You are already butting heads by the sounds of it so there isn't anything to lose. You aren't telling them they are parenting wrong or that they should do as you say. You are simply saying that as a result of x, y and z their child will not nap in the day. Yes you need your break but this, I think anyway, should be put to the parents in a way that this is made about the child's best interests regardless of the duration of your break. They will be much more likely to be receptive of change with this approach I think. I don't feel this requires a sit down meeting. She is either going to do as you request and the sleep pattern during the day will change, or she wont and you will be left with the choice to grin and bare it or terminate. I feel for you for the naptime, I totally do...it's rough, but regardless, the parent's only care about themselves and their child not the impact their actions have on your day.

Second parent I'm a bit confused about. Mat leave is 12 months right? And this is an argument that has been going on for how long? Seriously nip this in the bud. Don't have a sit down meeting with this parent after nearly a year of arguing over it. This is how you do it....take it or leave it lady. I totally get why she would be frustrated with the opposite days for the pair, and I personally have done this 3 times and wouldn't find that the 2 weeks prior to returning to work with this kind of transition would be enough to eliminate the potential problems...also depends very much on the relationship between the siblings in the first place. But the fact is that it is besides the point and really doesn't matter. This is your business and this is how you practice regardless of how others work and regardless of the mothers request. You have both had enough time to budge on this and neither have, so you need to nip this in the bud. Your way or no way. It seems ridiculous to terminate to me over this, but that being said, I would have sorted this a long time ago but now it's close to crunch time and a decision has to be made.

As for how people communicate with parents about issues, I do not like to have an extended conversation at the door about problematic behaviour in front of the child. I don't think it's good practice. I also work collaboratively with my families and I am a disciplinarian as I am a caregiver, I don't pick and choice what roles I play and don't based on what I do or don't want to do as I think consistency is key and it's imperative that all caregivers back each other up. Each to their own and I really don't judge but I don't feel texting is the best method for important communication, just short and casual info and reminders and I also think it is in the best interest of the child and also makes for a much better experience in my career to give each individual family and child the care and attention they need if it means the child gets even better care. I will however do a lot more for a family who is as equally invested and committed to the child's care as I am. I try to screen as best as possible from the point of my telephone interview so that I don't take on families who don't share the same philosophy as I do so I'm not dealing with these types of issues, but sometimes we can't avoid them.

In the situation with the spectrum child I cared for, had I not gone the extra mile I feel it would have been a disservice to the child. It was absolutely above and beyond my role, but I was thinking first and foremost of the child's needs, not the inconvenience it would be to me. I may have potentially put that child on a better path as a result, I offered myself as a support system to that parent and hopefully gave them the courage and support they needed to be open to the idea that their child may have issues and they should seek help where other parents who didn't have that kind of collaboration would have missed out on that level of care. Those situations can never be addressed via text, email or a 5 minute conversation at the door. Yes above and beyond the role of a home daycare provider, but I am a caregiver to my core and don't regret for one minute taking some time out of my personal life to offer a little extra to a child and family in need.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thankfully most of my problems have been issues with the parents lol. I've really only had one child who had behaviour issues and I agree with BS, it's not a conversation to have in front of children.

[Rachael]

Hi everyone, I'm just wondering how many have daycare parent meetings setup and how often; to discuss any differences you may have, such as different of opinions regarding the daycare and children.

I don't ever have routine meetings with my clients.

If there is an issue, I tend to communicate with the parents as it's happening either at pick up time, or via e-mail later in the day. They too do the same for me, if there is information I need to be aware of.

Should there be an issue which we are jointly addressing, then of course that exchange of information increases during the time we are dealing with it.

The only time I would set up a meeting is if there was an issue that was not fast to resolve - behaviour, health related or of course payment related. None of these will wait for a schedule parent/carer update meeting.

Bottom line - I meet with parents or communicate more intently with parents, as and when the need occurs.