Potty training woes.

[Lee-Bee]

I have a 23month old here. She is fairly potty trained at home the only catch is they just have her running around with no pants/panties/diaper on at home (it's been 3 or so weeks of this). She apparently has never had an accident and just runs off to pee/poop on her own.

We have lots of beige carpet throughout the house and I have no interest in having a child run around without a diaper on when they have never asked to go on the potty and have zero ability to pull down their own pants on their own.

I am having her sit on the potty 5-6 times a day. She will pee and poop but she pretty much always has a wet diaper when I put her on the potty. She has just started paying pee and potty but it is only after I tell her it is time to go. She isn't yet using it to signal that she needs to go.

Any thoughts? Am I holding her back by making her wear a diaper while here? I only have her 3 days a week.

I feel that a huge part of toilet training is the ability to verbalize (or even using hand signals) and to have self help skills with undressing. She seems to be going about it backwards...in learning her body signals and knowing when to go while naked.

I don't much feel like trying that here as I suspect it is easier to do at home when she has mom and dad there watching her cues and cueing her. Whereas here she is busy playing and is distracted by her friend and toys etc.

Thoughts?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Carpet or no carpet, running around naked with the potential pee or poo accident isn't sanitary or practical to expect of your daycare provider.

I agree with you....a child has to be able to communicate either with words or signs that they need to go, be able to undress themselves and be old enough to realize when they need to go.

Toilet training is never fun and it's even harder with part time children I have found. The key is to be consistent though so I would talk to the parents and explain why their approach is not practical for you and because of that, it will actually hinder their child by having two completely different techniques of toilet training. See if you guys can come up with a different approach that works for both parties and hopefully the training will come along quicker and smoother.

There is an article on pinterest about potty training your child in 3 days and it's approach is to let them go naked....I wonder if they read that! lol

[Lee-Bee]

I've made it clear we aren't going naked here and when they first started that I explained that they need to work on her using language to communicate she needs to go and to work on her working with getting her clothing off. I asked today if they have been working on that and they haven't...because she is naked all day except at meal times (gahh).

I've explained I'm not willing to go naked here. I can understand their excitement that their child is "potty trained" in their manner at home but to me it just seems unrealistic to leave your child naked all day. Our house is large...and it's just not big enough to heat to a comfortable enough temperature to be pantless all day!!!

Anyways...I just wanted to hear from other caregivers to make sure I wasn't being unrealistic on my end. She spends one day a week with grandpa...and he now has her going pantless as well. so it is just at my house that she isn't "potty trained"...because she isn't naked. I'm not sure if she'd even be using the potty if she was naked. BUT...I don't want some other child sitting all over my house with no clothes on. She's all over the furniture etc. Just ewww!!

I'll continue as is. I mentioned to mom weeks ago when she did the pantless weekend with success that it just wasn't feasible. That the child is 23 months (now, younger than) and I wasn't about to have her without a diaper in a snowsuit...or in the car...or at nap. That she would be best to try and teach the child to keep the diaper dry between potty breaks because she will need to be in a diaper at least until spring when she can easily go pee while outside for extended periods of time. If she doesn't communicate with me here at the house then it is setting a child up for failure to expect them to be accident free with clothes on...especially when we go to the library and playdates etc.

Ok...ramble over. Just was staring to doubt myself that I was holding the child back by not letting her be naked all day...despite my knowing that that just isn't realistic!!

[Crayola kiddies]

Nobody goes naked in my daycare ..... Yikes

[Secondtimearound]

Ewwwww !!! Nope not here either !!! That's not trained !!

[33 Daiseys]

nope, no way would that happen here. i had a daycare parent tell me after xmas last year child was trained. yha right, they only got out of pull ups a month ago.

[FSD]

Naked...at daycare? Some parents, eh? Yikes! I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who showed up on Monday in underwear, his Mom stating that we've trained him over the weekend! Um...WHAT?! I asked if he's expressing his need to go verbally, and she said no, that they were just putting him on the potty every 45 mins. That's not trained!! And what killed me was that they were late dropping off because he pooped. In his underwear! She had to give him a bath before heading out of the house. Great way for me to start my week!

[bright sparks]

Naked...at daycare? Some parents, eh? Yikes! I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who showed up on Monday in underwear, his Mom stating that we've trained him over the weekend! Um...WHAT?! I asked if he's expressing his need to go verbally, and she said no, that they were just putting him on the potty every 45 mins. That's not trained!! And what killed me was that they were late dropping off because he pooped. In his underwear! She had to give him a bath before heading out of the house. Great way for me to start my week!

I'm sure I'm an exception because I only train in underwear, each to there own, but what gets me is that the parents have the ordasity to not inform you of their plans. It's not about needing permission as obviously they are the parents but this is supposed to be a collaborative relationship and this is a clear indicator of how little respect they have for you and your role.honestly, I would have said it's not happening and put him in diapers. My house, my rules. If it meant that much to them, they should have had a conversation at the very least with you prior to starting and got on the same page. No verbalizing of their toileting needs just reinforces that the child isn't ready so it doesn't need to be difficult, it just needs to be a no.

[bright sparks]

I have a 23month old here. She is fairly potty trained at home the only catch is they just have her running around with no pants/panties/diaper on at home (it's been 3 or so weeks of this). She apparently has never had an accident and just runs off to pee/poop on her own.

We have lots of beige carpet throughout the house and I have no interest in having a child run around without a diaper on when they have never asked to go on the potty and have zero ability to pull down their own pants on their own.

I am having her sit on the potty 5-6 times a day. She will pee and poop but she pretty much always has a wet diaper when I put her on the potty. She has just started paying pee and potty but it is only after I tell her it is time to go. She isn't yet using it to signal that she needs to go.

Any thoughts? Am I holding her back by making her wear a diaper while here? I only have her 3 days a week.

I feel that a huge part of toilet training is the ability to verbalize (or even using hand signals) and to have self help skills with undressing. She seems to be going about it backwards...in learning her body signals and knowing when to go while naked.

I don't much feel like trying that here as I suspect it is easier to do at home when she has mom and dad there watching her cues and cueing her. Whereas here she is busy playing and is distracted by her friend and toys etc.

Thoughts?

I personally think diapers and pull ups are problematic in training. If a child is ready to train, they are also smart enough to know that they are wearing a diaper. I see the inconsistency as permission to pee in the diaper because they know they can. I agree no naked children at daycare, but underwear should be fine if the kid is pretty well toilet trained at home. There likely wouldn't be to many accidents. As for pooping on the carpet, this is another requirement on my list that tells me a child is ready to train. There needs to be regularity in bowel movements. Once they have this, it's easier to predict when they will go and be prepared. BM is usually a tricky stage of training for a lot of kids, but if they are regular it's easier, if they are not then likely they have not got the control over their bowels so shouldn't be training. I understand why they are wearing a diaper at your place and like many others it is policy, but I personally think that this is the problem. Doesn't mean that going naked is the answer though. It's just inconsistency does nothing to help with toilet training. I think this is a classic sign of a parent starting too early. This child clearly doesn't have all the verbal skills or the physical ability to be successful and quickly to train. It rarely takes me more than a week to train here. On the occasion it does, it's because of parents undoing my work at home by putting pull ups on, or being lazy quite frankly. I don't care of a parent insists on training before I'm willing to do it. I give them the other option of taking a month of work to train them themselves if they don't like how I do it. You have how much experience with this mother?... I've trained over 30 kids and every time I've had any kind of issue it's because of the parents yet I'm the one left to deal with the mess. It's this first child...rush, rush, rush and second child, baby, baby, baby thing I keep seeing over and over. Lots of first time parents want their child to be first at everything, but hold their second back for longer so they can keep their baby. SIGH!!

I had a parent of one of my 21mth olds email me for my thoughts the other day because her child was taking an interest in them using the toilet at home and it took all my restraint not to speak my mind. You want to toilet train yet you won't stop breast feeding him??? The mind boggles sometimes...Fortunat ely this family like that I offer them guidance and generally take my advice.

[FSD]

I agree, Pull Ups are a waste of money in my opinion! I potty trained both my own girls without the use of Pull Ups, we went straight to underwear, and it worked out great! And I totally agree with the lack of respect the parent had for me! I little head's up would've been nice! I am currently potty training 3 boys (!!!), but surprisingly, so far, it's been ok. A few accidents here and there, but they are using the potty for the most part. However, they are NOT letting me know, they'll just hold it until I put them on the toilet.