My little trouble maker is making me run out of patience...

[Telsea]

Hi Ladies, would love, love, love, some advice on this... I'm about ready to type out a letter to terminate care of this 4 year old boy that has been in my daycare since he was one. This is my last resort!
Where to start.... oh my goodness I have gone through quite the journey with him and his family... his first year with me was super good, really sweet child, played well, ate well, napped well... then he hit two and it all went downhill after that... ever since I have been very supportive and patient with him and his parents. He's the kind of kid that in his parent's eyes he can't do no wrong.... parents are very busy with their careers so when they have time for him there's no discipline... basic case, that we have all heard over and over again. So, the discipline comes down to me... yay me...
I could go on and make a list of all the things that this little guy has done... from taking all his clothes off to peeing in my garbage bin.... that one was today, one of his latest... !! but what I really want to hear is some words of encouragement I guess... he will start full time kindergarten next Sept, which is GREAT! cuz then he will be just before and after care.
During the day he's kept busy, with lots of choices lots of play, outdoor and indoor... but whenever he sees that I'm not looking and tending to someone else... that's his opportunity to do something crazy! I talk to him, I do time out, I take away his favourite toy or his blanket... ugh... last year I actually told his Mom that's it I can't do it anymore, when on that day we were at the park and he took off on me! Here I am with 6 other children, i can't run after him! thank God another Mom saw him and grabbed him! His Mom started crying when I told her that, so I felt so bad. He loves to test me and just laughs at me when I get angry or he tells me that he hates me! Anyways, any advice would be appreciated!

[Other Mummy]

You need to ask yourself some serious questions.

1) Can you afford to terminate this child and replace him?
2) Can you give the parents a 30 day notice to help turnaround his behaviour at home as well. If parents are not working with you, you are going to be frustrated until this child goes to school. Are
3) Are you willing to go ahead and terminate if behaviour does not improve in 30 days?
4) Does he hurt other children in your care? (Hitting/biting, etc.)

The running away would have been a deal breaker for me. At the age of 3+ years of age, he obviously knows how to push boundaries and clearly enjoys "running the show".

Once you've made your decision (terminate asap or work on his behaviour WITH parental support) then you could move on from there. If there is one child in your care who you dread and makes your work life miserable then personally, I would have terminated.

[martymonty]

I had a similar experience earlier this year, had spent almost 3 years trying to help this child...it finally got to the point I could no longer do this, it was affecting the other children, so I had to terminate. It was only at that point, that mom and dad (they are separated) said, oh we'll help do whatever it takes for him to stay and I stood firm and said that I was sorry, he could no longer come to my daycare. It was seriously the best decision I have ever made (and I've been doing daycare for 28 + years) Things around my daycare are now so stress free and calm.....

[Telsea]

Thank you so much for your reply and time... I"m meeting with the parents tomorrow and I'm going to have a serious talk with them, they will get a 30 day trial period, either they support me or they are out.

[mickyc]

honestly I would say good bye. I had one like this for a whole year. I was very hard on him and actually they ended up leaving to put him in a centre that was more of a pre-school type setting. I couldn't have been happier. I didn't realize how disruptive he was until he was gone.