Wow, can't believe what I heard!

[littlefish]

One daycare parent was talking to me and said that he asked his son if your provider gets mad? wow the son said no no Have you had something like that? They come and tell you what they asked their kids, have they told you straight forward what they asked the child about you?

[Rachael]

I wouldn't find it offensive.

Parents take one heck of a risk initially with a provider. Sure, due diligence is performed with police checks and references but at the end of the day, it's quite a leap of faith handing over your child to someone who is essentially a stranger.

I think, in that situation, it's perfectly normal to ask a child about their day. And during those conversations, some topics might arise which are very important.

"What did you eat for lunch today?" - Dry cereal and water, KD, processed crap which the provider promised she never feeds.

"What did you do today?" - Sat in front of the TV and watched Ellen and Judge Judy, when the provider promised there is no screen time.

"Cameron had a time out today Daddy."
"Really? Why? What did he do?"
"He got mad because he didn't want to share the toys. He threw a dinky across the room and it broke Rachael's picture"
"Did Rachael get mad."
"No but she wasn't happy. She said Cameron had to sit in time out whilst she cleared up the glass and all the rest of us had to sit on the couch off the floor so we didn't get it in our feet."

See - conversations evolve and it's perfectly reasonable.

You can choose to be offended but to be honest, it seems rather silly as no one gets to determine the thought process and conversations another person may and may not have. Since it's not in your control what they discuss, why feel anything about it?

Surely it's a good thing that they are sharing with you that their child views you as calm and fair vs an over-reactive, emotional wreck?

I'm not sure what you mean by "after all I do for this child I'm helping him in potty training". LOL Surely that's just part of the job for this age group, like helping them put their mitts on? It's hardly going out of your way but a fundamental part of the role of caring for children.

this family makes me think that he doesn't learned anything here and that they do the job at home I don't believe it at all I have teach him many things and they find it hard to accept it, and for some reason they make me feel that they are afraid of me terminated them so I don't understand! please any advise

This makes no sense based on the information you have provided.

Do you mean this family makes you feel that he's not learning in your care? If so, what have they done for you to draw that conclusion? Surely a father asking about your temperament isn't making you feel like this?

What has this child learned since being with you?
How long has this child been with you?
How often is this child with you?
And why do you think these parents believe he's not learning?
And, just as relevant, - you seem to be annoyed that this parent has been really direct and honest with you about the conversations they are having and yet you think they are implying other things rather than being equally as direct?

Sorry but as posted, there's no information to offer any advice with.

[Lee-Bee]

Weird the dad would tell you he asked his kid that. I would expect any diligent parent to ask questions, but not why they would tell you they ask their child.

The response that comes to mind for when a parent tells you they asked their child if you got mad would be something along the lines of "everybody gets mad at times...what is important is HOW they get mad, not IF hey get mad". If you find them making such comments frequently then you'll need to right out ask them "it seems like you ask this frequently, are you having concerns about how I interact with your child" and get down to the root cause now so they are not going on info a young child passes on!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I wouldn't find it offensive either. I ask the kids what they do at home or what they had for breakfast/supper so of course I expect the parents to do the same and ask questions about their day here. I've had children come to dc and tell me they did something bad at home and I've asked what mom or dad said/did. I would hope that parents ask the same about me as well actually.

It can go a couple ways though. They can believe the child even when the story sounds false or they can ask you to clarify. I've had a parent ask me to clarify some things and when I did, she still believed her child. It wasn't even anything major (her daughter said I put her in the dark nap room and she was afraid but really she slept in the playroom which is well lit and it was because the mom didn't want her sleeping the full nap so I had to put her somewhere I could get without disturbing the others!! lol) but the fact that her daughter was not telling the truth concerned me and I wondered if in the future she would lie about something that did matter. When I brought this up with mom she said she must have misunderstood her child and that her child always told the truth. Thankfully they left before this situation could have gotten worse.

Another time, 2 winters ago now, we were outside and I was shoveling the play area when another child looked at me in horror and said "don't hit him with the shovel!!" I'm guessing from her angle, it looked like I was shoveling onto the other child beside me. I explained that one to the parents at pick up because I didn't want her going home and saying "5LM hit xxx with a shovel" LOL

We are looking after their children and they have NO way of knowing what we do. They are expected to trust us 100% and for some parents, this is very hard. I totally understand that and can see they ask their child about us. Don't let it offend you....unless the child is lying!! Than that is another issue and one that needs to be dealt with quickly IMO.

[littlefish]

Thank you for the input, I wasn't too informative with my post, today is another day and I'm feeling more refresh!