I think we all get burned. I know I have.

When I first opened, I had a little guy without issue for about 18 months. At that time my core hours were 7.30am until 5pm but these parents needed 7am drop which was agreed with the expectation of 4.30pm pick up. No issues ever and in fact, my whole client base ended up needing the earlier drop and pick up, so I actually changed my core business hours with agreement of all clients, and issued new contracts.

These parents fell pregnant and against my better judgement, I agreed to let them drop to 3 days a week for 6 months only after which, he'd be going FT again with the new baby. Although I never take PT'ers, I did it because in 6 months time, it would have been September and I was losing two children to school. I thought this would mean one of those two places was taken.

As the end of 6 months approached, I asked for a firm start date only to then be told, that Dad had lost his job a few months before. They weren't concerned as he had job offers which he'd turned down so they were confident he'd get all he wanted but they didn't need FT care yet!! I was floored - not only would I be losing two days pay for longer than I'd agreed to but also, now a FT place would remain empty and I was losing that expected income as well. But they assured me no more than a couple more months, and since I'd taken a loss for so long and had no interest in the Sept vacancy, I sucked it up.

Two month passed and again, it was me who raised the start date. Was told it would be the end of the month for sure.

On the last Friday of the month, at pick up time, Dad came and confirmed he had a job starting Monday, would need FT care for both children. Thank goodness. I agreed to e-mail new contracts for the children that weekend which I did.

Sunday afternoon, he phoned. All was fine but they wanted the 5pm finish! I explained that my core hours had changed with agreement from everyone over a year ago and this is the first I'd heard that they needed a later finish but it was okay they said, because they didn't need the 7am drop off! I was really cross and told him straight, it wasn't flexi-time. My core hours finished at 4.30pm and if they needed an extension, it should have been requested and that information should have been shared long before now. Why wasn't I told before? Especially since Mom did pick up as she only worked around the corner and before Dad lost his job, she was always here on time. That's when they told me that Mom was doing a "course" for 6 months. She had made arrangements to work half her lunch break each day and also stay an extra 30 mins each evening in exchange for getting part day off each week to attend this course. Mom no longer finished at her usual time!

I was so annoyed but again, had so much invested in them coming now, that I agreed. I amended the contracts to have a pick up time of 5pm for no more than 6 months after that, pick up time would be 4.30pm. Sent them off and sure enough, Dad called again. All was good but they wanted the 6 month clause removed. Alarm bells were ringing and so I asked why. Why when she's on a 6 month course, would they need a late pick up after that? Only then did he admit that this 6 month course was in fact a degree she was taking, one module at a time. So once this module was completed in 6 months, she'd move on to the next one!

Hell no. I was clear then that I had only agreed to extended hours on the understanding it was for 6 months only. If they were now telling me I would be working extended hours indefinitely, they would have to pay for that time. 30 mins free care a day for two kids, is an hour. That's 5 hours over the week. That's 260 hours over the year. That's almost an entire month of FREE care. Hell no.

Because I was desperate, and backed into a corner, I offered the original 6 month extension as it stood, with no extra charge even though they had been deceptive with the information both in terms of keeping me informed and then in terms of manipulating for the later close OR they could have it on-going for an added fee but I wasn't working for free, for potentially 4 years until their kids were both in school.

They took the free 6 months and said we'd "review it" at the end of 6 months. It was really clear their idea of "reviewing" was to try and gauge me for another 6 months last minute. They considered now they were paying for 2 of my 6 places they were in a position of strength and to an extent, they were because I'd allowed them to be.

Of course, my plan was to seek replacements for them before that time. As it happened, just as I had done that, and planned to give them their notice on the Monday (even had the letter ready to go), they gave me my notice that Friday night. Now their youngest child was older than 18 months, they could both go with another local carer who worked until 6pm. Fair enough as obviously they needed the later time and I didn't want that long term but a lot of hard lessons learned.

Things I have changed because of this experience :-
1. No drop from FT to PT ever, even for mat leave. They stay FT or they leave. I won't suck up lost days that I need to be sure I have available for them to return to in future.
2. If holding a place for a baby, that contract has a "no later than" start date. If their situation changes and they don't need care on that date, they either pay for the place or lose it along with their deposit. No more moving a start date even if a sibling is already in my care unless they are paying from the original expected start.
3. Never, never, extend hours.
4. Don't ever feel loyal to an existing client because their loyalties are completely driven by their own needs, as they should be.
5. Extend all notice periods to a full month and if parents have more than one child in my care, it's 6 weeks. I have to have time to find replacements just as if I gave them notice, they too would need time to find two openings with another carer.
6. Follow your gut. If something is being suggested/asked which doesn't make you happy, don't agree to do it.