Honestly, I think you and her are not a good fit. If she runs a formal business and you were hoping for something a bit more friendly it will never work. You will always feel she is cold and she will feel like she is always nagging you to follow the rules you agreed to.

Each of us run our daycares differently. Shop around and find someone who better fits your needs. You each have different expectations. You will find someone who fits better with what you were hoping for!