Feeling bad about a daycare letter.

[bright sparks]

Ratios are the amount of children she is allowed to have- sounds like she wants to keep her numbers low because of her son. Totally understandable. You shouldn't be worried about what she does for other families. Of course she has every right to be upset with you. You are being snoopy with what others are getting then even after her giving you your letter you have the nerve now to ask to pay for only the days you use - ummmmmm ya that is rude imo. She is offering you full-time if you need flexible care- she needs to make a living too.

Lot's of assumptions being made here. Snooping or having an innocent conversation with another parent using the same childcare services? Could be either but I wouldn't be accusing anyone of anything when I didn't know the facts. I think it is okay for this parent to ask the deal the other family is getting. We need to look after ourselves and so do families. There is no harm in asking and the OP was given a fair explanation as to why this isn't available to her whether she likes it or not is another thing. Try for a minute to place yourself in the shoes of the mother. As providers we can obviously relate to the provider and make assumptions but we still don't know the facts and I don't believe it to be fair to call people rude when they are looking out for their best interests just as we would. As a parent and as one who has had their children in daycare, I would feel pretty frustrated and annoyed if I found out that the other family in my providers daycare was getting the deal that I had requested and I was getting denied.

I understand and appreciate the grandfathering and have been there myself similarly where I had flexi care offered to one family only, but then I set boundaries, made policies and enforced them without wavering, rather than giving in and complaining about it afterward because it was uncomfortable to stand my ground and have a confrontation but that was what I should have done in the first place. If this provider didn't want to allow this mother to move days, then she should have said no in the first place so as not to lead the parent to believe that it was acceptable. If we are flexible with our policies and our contract terms then we hold some responsibility in misleading our clients into what "flexibility" means thus resulting in implying that it is okay for them to also bend and break rules.

My impression is that the provider feels that it is becoming to frequent and moving away from the original agreement and is making it clear in writing that this is not something she is willing to carry on with any longer.

It sounds like the provider is offering an explanation, not blame, that she has chosen to keep her ratio of caregiver to children low in order to be able to meet the needs of her group sufficiently, including those with and without special needs. It sounds like the other family have a contract outlining the flexicare versus your contract daycare mommy which was not made or signed by either of you for the same set up. That is why the other family are allowed this deal, because it was their original agreement, and was not yours. I suggest if you can clear the air and let it go, you do so and realize that this is a business she is running and while she is giving great quality childcare I assume and hope, she is also running her business it would seem as a professional, not as a favour system or to solely work for families in care at the expense of her income and business practice. Otherwise, maybe it would be best to find another provider and go into that setting with a much clearer and realistic understanding of this business and when you sign something signifying that you understand and agree, don't break the rules.