Limitations of the job

[bright sparks]

I think it gets easier as the kids get older. My kids are 12 and 13 and I'm coming up to my 9 year mark. It was for sure harder when they were younger, but I think it's been a valuable lesson to them and I'm ready now to get some independence back and get out of the house. My kids have always, even now, been very involved. They changed diapers, read stories, do crafts and snuggle with upset little ones. They have asked me lots of questions and observed how I handle challenging situations with the children and I think this will serve them well in later years. I have learnt in order to have the house be happy, certain things need to be let go of. This expectation of a tidy house all the time is such a huge stress that ultimately it only happened once I stopped caring so much and passed the pressure over to everyone else. When my kids were younger, they were responsible for their mess, learning that at the end of each day, they had to clean everything up so it was in their best interest to clean as they go. Their rooms can be messier and they can just clean that periodically. Laundry is a shared effort, now my kids do their own laundry having 2 days a week to do it. They have also made their own lunches for the last 4 or 5 years. They also do meal prep for dinner upon request. I have a 2nd job on Fridays outside of the home so they have to fend for themselves and they do a great job and it's actually doing them a huge favour me being out of the house so many hours. I had a 3 month break from daycare a few years ago when I moved house and I briefly took a nursing position and the clean house was amazing...I am looking forward to that for sure. My biggest issue with home daycare is that I have lost my identity so much so that even I don't know who I am. I am a glorified maid and caregiver, that is it and it's about to change. I will be a full time student and have a job along with being a mother and a wife. It isn't going to be easier than what is going on now but with good planning and time management it will be fine. Less is more as the kids get older, they need us to be there less in order for them to develop strong independent skills. I think it's harder for us than for them. Balance is hard but fortunately my kids are old enough to understand what's to come with me and that they are more than capable to step up their roles in contributing to the family. These are all life lessons that me being here 24/7 am holding them back from learning.