Parents requests child to get more food.

[sueanneasam]

OK so I am looking for some advice on this subject. When I first started my day home I was nieve and gave the first mom to show interest a dumb deal on my end. She pays 400/month full time care while bow my other children pay 700. Anyways she texts me the other day saying her child has a high mataboliam along with acid reflux (he is 5) and needs to eat when ever he requests, I agreed at first and I guess yesterday she informed him I am to feed him whenever he wants. Needless to say this was his food intake yesterday. Breakfeast he has 2 bowls of cereal (8am) 930 snack I made toast with cheesewiz and put it on a plate so children could help themselves he ate 4 whole slices of bread and wanted more when I finally stopped him. 1030 he wants food again and eats an apple, 12pm lunch he has 2 full ham sandwiches and 2 bowls of soup.130 he wants food again and has bear paws, 230 he asks again and eats an orange, 330 is snack time and we have veggies and dip. At 430 he has another orange. His mom picks him up at 530 and he says I am starving mom and she proceeds to ask what he has eaten all day and says that's not enough if he is hungry he is uncomfortable. I understand that but what I am getting paid a month will not cover his food cost alone if he eats like this and it's not fair to the other children as this disrupts their scheduals. I need some advice on how to approach the situation, do I tell her she will need to supply his "extra" snacks or request she pays more I just don't know please help

[sueanneasam]

I feel as though he is over eating but he is not a big boy and I am not 100% sure on the whole acid reflux thing but wouldn't eating more make it worse? I know when I have heart burn I don't want to eat and eat and eat.

[Rachael]

Just be honest with her....Tell her that due to an error which was wholly your naivety, she is being undercharged considerably but you have honoured that error because it was your fault. However, because of this, you are being paid $4,800 a year which is half what she should be paying and after expenses like food, milk, etc, you are actually left with nothing as profit.

Now, she is asking that you increase your costs associated with her custom which will mean it is actually costing you money to care for him.

Then give her the option - she can have the increased volume of food, if she pays the market value for the place. However, it's too disruptive to feed him hourly so you aren't willing or able to do that so he'll need to eat more at the designated times and she'll need to provide the extras OR she can provide ALL his food so at least you aren't having his food costs on top of your huge losses.

Which deal would she prefer?

[Fun&care]

Was the acid reflux as well as high metabolism something that was diagnosed by a doctor or is this the mother making a diagnosis?

Because that seems like a ridiculous amount of food. I would not be ok with having to serve food at random times of the day, here we eat at set times so it would have to be a valid medical condition for me to make an exception. And I also agree that when you have acid reflux, eating definitely makes it worse at least in my experience.

Should he not be on meds if it's that bad?

You for sure need to raise your rates, or ask the mom to start pacing a lunch or both at this point because it is a lot of trouble for you to feed him at hock.

[Lee-Bee]

My daughter also had acid reflux, though luckily outgrew it by 1yr. Her natural way to ease the pain was to eat. All. The. Time. It coats the esophagus and therefore eases the pain. It is NOT a solution, as more food equals more stomach acid which equals more pain, which leads to more eating. If the child really has acid reflux that bad at age 5 he needs to see a specialist.

I have seen kids, of many ages, that just eat an INSANE amount. It can be astonishing what they eat and gain no weight. This is not on you to feed. His mom can supply the extra snacks required between meals you provide all children. The mom needs to also pay more for you to serve more food at the meals you do serve.

Give her a bill for what the child will eat in the coming 2 weeks. If her child is indeed special enough to eat that much (for what ever reason) she can foot the bill. I would strongly suggest she bring her child to a doctor to assess the acid reflux.

My daughter also has a high metabolism (22months old). It is crazy how much she can eat, I ensure she is getting the right foods, as empty carbs and plain fruit does nothing to help. My daughter eats TONS of protein daily. She eats beans by the cupful. If her snack is just fruits and veggies then she has beans with it (kidney, black bean, chickpeas) as this last longer in the belly and helps her go longer between meals. My daughter cannot last from breakfast ending at 9am until early lunch at 11:30. It is only 2.5 hours but her behavior declines, rapidly, if she does not get a solid snack in between. It's annoying as I feel like we are always at the table. But if I make her skip that snack I curse myself later because she is behaving poorly, which is making me react poorly (due to constantly needing to redirect her) and no one is in a good mood. Since she is lower in weight percentile than she is in height percentile on the growth charts I feed her what she needs. I wouldn't expect someone else to pay for all her extra food though, especially if I was paying so little to begin with!

Point being, some kids really need a lot more food. Make it worthwhile food. An apple will only hold such a child over for a short period of time...add a handful of beans, nuts, cheese etc to help.

[torontokids]

I personally would not only inform the parents of your new rate (to make it more in line with the other families) but also let them know they need to provide the additional snacks. I am not sure what your contract states or if you can get out of your current rate but I would definitely try and do this. You are currently working for free.

[torontokids]

I would also stop giving him empty snacks. No more Bear Paws or toast with Cheeze Whiz but like Lee Bee suggested, more protein that will fill him up. Also, if the snacks are less enticing you will be able to quickly tell "how hungry" he actually is.

You could possibly terminate altogether as his needs just changed (mom texted you the other day) and based on these needs you are not able to provide care.

[flowerchild]

When people ask about my rates, I always mention that it includes two snacks and lunch. If a child requires specific foods (ie. gluten free, lactose free milk, etc) it must be provided by the parents. I figure that's more than fair.

I've never had this situation, but I think I would probably let the mom know that if her child needs to eat above those times that she can provide extra snacks for him to eat throughout the day. Although, now that I'm writing this I am imagining all sorts of issues that it would cause at my place if one child is eating something and the others were not. I might be inclined to ask for a doctor's note that states that he needs to eat whenever he wants and the reason.

I also want to say that I flinched a little bit reading your post. It totally reads like she is ordering you around and dictating what you do and how you do it. Telling her son that you HAVE to feed him whenever he asks? Yikes. Lower rates aside, I think some boundaries need to be set up in this situation regarding what you will and will not do otherwise she's going to be calling you telling you you need to feed him sirloin steak three times a day at your expense. (that's an exaggeration, but you get my point.)

[Rachael]

$400 a month = $4800 a year = $92.31 a week = $18.46 a day.

You mentioned him being there for breakfast so I'm guessing he's there for around 7am. And you said he gets picked up at 5.30pm, that is a 10.5 hr day without considering time you spend cleaning and prepping. So this Mom is paying you $1.75 a hour. And from that $1.75 an hour, you a providing all his food. You honestly are working for free with this client.

I think you've been beyond generous in sticking to the agreement for what has likely been some time.

Since you are working for free, if this parent terms, you aren't any worse off. I think you should consider that when you decide what to do.

[mickyc]

Personally this would not be something I would accomodate. We eat at set times and that is just the way it is. That's a heck of a lot of food!! I would just say you can't feed that often and they can go elsewhere. Then you can get paid what you charge others and not all this extra expense or work!