Hi, I am looking for advice on how to deal with two parents in an ugly divorce who both have 50/50 custody. I watch their two girls age 4 and 6. The parents were neighbours of ours until they separated so I know them personally as well. When they contacted me to watched their girls they were in a pinch because the previous day home asked them to leave. The mother made the arrangements and provided me with a contact list for both parents and the grandmother as the emergency contact person. To my understanding this is what has always been provided to day homes and schools.

One day at pick up the dad informed me that his new girlfriend would be picking up the girls. The next day mom request that I not allow the girlfriend to pick up and she will pick up if the dad can't. Then the next day dad says that grandma is no longer allowed to pick up and I am to call him if she shows up (at this point the grandma/emergency contact only picked up one time because mom was moving and dd said he couldn't)

So now it has been four months of back and forth and every time I've said to figure it out and contact information will not change until I have a mutual agreement signed by both.

The dad is now accusing me of taking the mothers side because he claims he didn't agree to the contact form and mom says the opposite. The dad says he need his girlfriend to be an emergency contact but then he says she's going to do the regular pick up and drop off because dad wants to take an evening job or go to school, not quite sure as his reason changes daily. She is now currently dropping the kids off every day of the week on his weeks but he keeps fighting with me to let the girls go with her at pick up as well.

Moms request is that she be the pick up person if he is not able which is why she wants a call if the girlfriend shows up.

What do I do??

I've suspended service after an argument with the dad because of his accusations but he then later begged me to take them back.

I took them back on the condition that the two figure it out and give me a mutual agreement. I feel this is not fair to the girls who live out of a suitcase and get shuffled around between houses week to week. My home is pretty much the only stable place in their lives and I wouldn't want to take that away from them. The older one has had a really difficult time with the divorce and has gone to counselling. After being in my care she has opened up and seems to be doing much better.

The father now shows up daily stating "he has a piece of paper" that says mom can't do this but anything I have read is open to interpretation. Mom on the other hand says the same thing but with her view point. I've asked both parents to not discuss this dispute with me unless it is to give me a mutual agreement.

Help!! Am I going about this the wrong way?

What would you do if you were me in this situation?