Parent with scent sensitivity

[torontokids]

I have a slight sensitivity to scent as well which I find gets worse the more I am exposed to scents (which could explain why her's is worse). Also, the winter can be worse for people with this sensitivity just for reasons like the windows always being closed etc. I think you just need to do as Lee Bee and others suggest. Tell her you will not use the scents on the days their child is in daycare and if their sensitivity is still triggered you would understand them needing to find alternative care. I also don't use scents around children for the above mentioned reasons.

[bright sparks]

Bright sparks: There's more too it than just the re asking. My son is diagnosed ADHD and ODD, and she made a point of mentioning that artificial scents are linked to ADHD, autism,,, etc. Very, very out of line.

I'm sure there is, there always is but I was simply stating my opinion that it is not okay to be name calling and even more so without all the facts. My comments were not aimed at you.

[bright sparks]

yes i have, my room is painted a warm terracotta red, and is for the wee one's in playpens. a mom i interviewed last week, asked if i planned on changing the colour since red is linked to anger. Had parents say that they don't like a boy sleeping in a girls room, can i redecorate it to make it more gender neutral. had potential clients comment abut all the family photos, and how it will make their child uncomfortable since there won't be any picture of said child in the main part of the home( i do have random pic's of dkc in the playroom mind you).
this has been in the last 2 weeks, so i am very very sore about it, and am getting a bit tired of people not understanding that this is my home.
I never vent, and this is something that is very personal and a real sore spot. Sorry if it offended you

I never said, nor implied that I was offended by your vent. This is the exact place where venting is allowed. What I did say was that my opinion was that it is not okay to name call and I made a comment that I highly doubt that those things were said, not that they weren't or that you were lying but that I found it hard to believe. Sounds like you have had a steady stream of unbelievable potentials coming through your door so explains why you are sore, but it's a little different than someone with a scent sensitivity. I also don't like to paint everyone with the same brush.

[Rachael]

How would you ladies approach this?

Like you, I would offer to minimize the scents on the day her child is here. Then when the second comment came, I think I would have been a bit miffed, esp as I would have honored the promised I made.

I think now all you can do is state that you don't use when he's coming/in the day care which is the commitment you made when made aware of the issue. However, yours is not a scent free home. As a home owner, you enjoy the scents you choose for your private space. If she is still finding the scents too strong, then all you can suggest is she limits the time chatting in your home as you have no intention of eliminating scents from your family life beyond the promise you have made and kept.

... on a side note, this same mom came in the door this morning, sat on my floor and talked for 20 min.

That would never have happened. I'd have interrupted long before 20 mins and said that I needed to get on with my day, I'll see her out as I want to lock the door behind her and get activities going.

Then she made a comment about how there was salt, (ice melt), at my front door, and that her son kept picking it up, hinting that she thought I should clean it

I would have said "That's just come in with you. Once you leave and I get the children settled, that will be cleaned up when I get to it. But I can't chat, supervise and clean at the same time.

[SillyGirl_C]

Oh lord. 33 Daiseys...I think we see why this question hit home. Sounds like an interview from hell. Some people are so over the top and self centered you wonder how they make it through life. Geez. I am irritated just thinking about it.

JJ, I think when accommodations for actual issues is realistic, it is good customer service to do. Which you have....and good naturedly too in light of the parent's less than steller approach to the matter.

If she is still finding it an issue, Lee-Bee has it dead on. This is your home, it is not an institution. She may need to find other care in order to manage her medical needs. Not personal, just reality.

[Lee-Bee]

yes i have, my room is painted a warm terracotta red, and is for the wee one's in playpens. a mom i interviewed last week, asked if i planned on changing the colour since red is linked to anger. Had parents say that they don't like a boy sleeping in a girls room, can i redecorate it to make it more gender neutral. had potential clients comment abut all the family photos, and how it will make their child uncomfortable since there won't be any picture of said child in the main part of the home( i do have random pic's of dkc in the playroom mind you).
this has been in the last 2 weeks, so i am very very sore about it, and am getting a bit tired of people not understanding that this is my home.
I never vent, and this is something that is very personal and a real sore spot. Sorry if it offended you

Wow...what a funny group of people you've interviewed!

I often wonder what my DCG thinks about the fact here are a bunch of large photos of our daughter and myself and husband hanging over her crib! She lies there staring at them everyday! But never would I remove family photos from our walls to make a child more comfortable!!??!! That's some serious parent guilt at play... removing photos from a wall won't make any child feel more at home.

I have read research on the impact of wall colour on children's behavior (it was actually part of our ECE curriculum) and red is indeed linked with negative behavior, so while I wouldn't paint my house red...no parent can expect you to change the colour in order for them to sign up. If they don't like it, they need to go elsewhere. But maybe that's why they were asking if you had planned to change it, because it is a deal breaker for them and they wanted to ensure it was staying red?

[JennJubie]

Thank you everyone for your input. I understand that scent sensitivity/allergy is very serious, and can make a person feel very ill, which is why I took her request so seriously. I absolutely respect the fact that on top of being my home, this is my business, and if a reasonable request is made, I should do my best to accommodate that request. Which I assure you, I have.

I make most of my food from scratch, I clean with natural products, (vinegar, baking soda, tea tree oil, etc). I have one small guilty pleasure, and that is my Scentsy. The only reason I even turned it on the morning in question is because one of the kiddos had a really smelly poo, and I was not feeling well and the smell was bothering me. Other than that I don't use it around the kiddos, and I never wear perfume.

I feel that dcm made a mountain out of a mole hill. As soon as she said something, I promised her it would never again be turned on on a day when he was to come. I am a woman of my word, and I have not. I suppose I didn't like that she questioned me again, because I had no reason to be questioned again. I understand that sometimes people can be insensitive to such issues, but I am not, and I didn't like being treated like I was taking it lightly when I was not.

[MsBell]

There is nothing nastier than to have nasty smelling poop from someone elses kids linger around your house for hours. I don't use air fresheners on a regular basis, however I do have one on hand for those days when someone lays down something so foul it gives me dry heaves. I will continue to do so, and even if this situation occured, I would explain, that in the event that it happens again, I will do something to eliminate the odor, because I have to stay in the house, she can leave quickly.
I too have had parents at interviews ask some pretty rediculous requests, one didnt like my "main daycare area" on the top level (I have a raised bungalow, upstairs is the playroom, kitchen, napping, the oly time the kids go downstairs is in the winter time to get dressed to go outside) so she asked if I could put the daycare downstairs, that way her baby has no chance of falling down the stairs!!!!! (stairs that are blocked off with a baby gate!) Needless to say, she did not become a client. I also had a parent ask me to never say "no" because it was such a negative word....I said no lol

[33 Daiseys]

the funny part it that it is the most beautiful shade. I wish i could post a picture.. Its more like a deep redish- orange. This is in my bedroom, an i picked the colour because it honestly helps me sleep. The rest of my house is done in sage, tan, creams such. I spent 6 months deciding on warm calm peaceful colours, and a ton of money and effort to make our home look like a home. And its makes me want to cry sometime the lack of respect we get towards our homes from daycare parents and children. Eg the other poster who was talking about dcd using her table to take of kids boots. I would have tossed them out and been done with them. My husband bought me my dining room set for my 30th birthday.
The basement/ toy room daycare room is done in pink , blue, yellow with all white ikea furniture. I then have the coloured square foam pads, with the 6 ikea mats on top ( you know the ones that look like car race tracks and such. I then have decals and pictures all over the walks.

[33 Daiseys]

I ve also had parents start opening dresser drawers, open my fridge to smell my milk, one dad even lay down on my bed if he could have a nap, while the mom and i talked. Needless to say i ended that interview then and there. This is over the 6 years mind you, It just amazes me the lack of respect we are show, as if we are 200 years ago, and nothing but the "MAID", or something