Parent with scent sensitivity

[JennJubie]

I have a dcm who has a scent sensitivity. This came to light a few months ago, (even thought dcb has been here for 7 months). It was never mentioned during the interview, or in any of the play visits mom and dcb attended before starting. I have Scentsy warmers in my house, and one of the dcks had an extremely smelly poop one morning, so I turned on the warmer to help the smell. Dcm with the sensitivity arrived that morning and informed me of her sensitivity upon smelling it. She asked that I would not use the warmers the days her son was here. I said of coarse. That should have been the end of it, yes? I have kept my word, as soon as I knew there was a sensitivity issue, I didn't turn it on again. This morning, weeks after she initially asked me not to use the Scentsy she asked if I had been turning them on again. I said no. She said she could still smell them and asked me if the ceramic warmers are located in my living room. I said yes, but I haven't turned them on. I think she expects me to remove them from my home... How would you ladies approach this?

... on a side note, this same mom came in the door this morning, sat on my floor and talked for 20 min. Then she made a comment about how there was salt, (ice melt), at my front door, and that her son kept picking it up, hinting that she thought I should clean it. The salt was tracked into my house when they came up the steps and came in, and I hadn't had time to do anything, because she sat right down and talked while others were coming in.

[33 Daiseys]

NOSY WI##H.
SHOULD MIND HER BUSINESS OR FIND OTHER CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
I am personally sick of when i interview people not understanding that this is my home.
WHERE I LIVE.
NO, I will not take down my children's photos, no i will not take down my wedding pictures, no I will not change my wall colour's, no I will not avoid cooking with children are napping, no i will not redo my child's bedroom to suit your child's likes.
FFS, it these people want a sterile environment, go to a center. If you want a warm home environment use home care. Not that difficult.
The nerve of some people

[Lee-Bee]

I think your response needs to be something along the lines of..."while my home is not scent free, and never will be, I can attempt to limit the use of scented products on the days your child attends. If your allergy is serious enough that you need to look for a new, scent free daycare I will understand, otherwise hopefully a quick drop off and pick up will be enough to further limit your exposure."

As for the salt, just point out that they are sitting there preventing you from doing your usual routine, of sweeping up the salt after the last parent has left. Also note that her child doesn't typically sit at the front door for 20minutes, that her sitting there is putting her child in proximity of the salt.

[3rdtimesacharm]

Uh that is so annoying! I would not stop using the scentsy in your home. Especially since it was never mentioned at interview. You are being very accommodating not using them on the days dcb comes. If she mentions it again, just reply with a straight face "no, I have not had them on today since he is here today. But I do turn them on in the evenings and days he doesn't come." And just leave it at that. I dare her to ask you to do anything about it. And if she does, say "I personally like them and have always used them, I think I'm doing enough of what you ask of me, but I'm not willing to stop all together."

As for the salt, my kids often pick them up off the front carpet as well. I usually vacuum the rug once all drop offs are done. I would have said, yes, I like to get that cleaned up as soon as all the drop offs are done and parents leave.

[bright sparks]

NOSY BIT#H. SHOULD MIND HER BUSINESS OR FIND OTHER CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
I am personally sick of when i interview people not understanding that this is my home. WHERE I LIVE. NO, I will not take down my children's photos, no i will not take down my wedding pictures, no I will not change my wall colour's, no I will not avoid cooking with children are napping, no i will not redo my child's bedroom to suit your child's likes.
FFS, it these people want a sterile environment, go to a center. If you want a warm home environment use home care. Not that difficult.
The nerve of some people

Hold on a minute....do you mean to tell me you have had people ask you to take down pictures and change your wall colour because that sounds ridiculous and highly unlikely! I don't think she is being a nosy at all. If she is irritated by something it is her perogative to make enquiry, that doesn't make her a bad person, I think your name calling is extremely harsh and completely unnecessary!

The sitting in your house for 20 minutes and comments about the ice melter are a separate issue and yes it can be irritating when a parent makes comments and we take it a certain way. It does not mean it was meant with any ill intent though, it's all about perception and I'm not convinced by the little info in this post that she meant to be awful and perhaps her nitpicking was nothing more than a bad morning which all humans have. Some things we should let go. Perhaps she felt irritated and wanted to confirm that it wasn't being used again and enquiring as to where it was located might be her simply thinking out loud and making enquiry in order to establish how much of a sensitivity she really has given that they hadn't been burning and their proximity when off. I understand her being cautious of them being on days that her son is in care in the event that his clothing may bring home the irritant, it seems the OP is too, given that she made this allowance for the mother.

I would just reassure her that they are not and will never be used during the hours that her son is care as you are understanding of her situation. And leave it at that. If she trusts you she will not ask again, and otherwise just leave her to her wondering as if they are off they are off and you don't have anything to worry about.

[JennJubie]

Bright sparks: There's more too it than just the re asking. My son is diagnosed ADHD and ODD, and she made a point of mentioning that artificial scents are linked to ADHD, autism,,, etc. Very, very out of line.

[JennJubie]

And to be very clear, I don't ever turn the warmers on when her son is here simply because I know it irritates her. I don't want to take the chance that it might irritate him, too or that he might take it home in his hair or clothing. But she's making claims that he's coming home smelling like the Scentsy even though I have not been turning it on.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Personally, I think she was out of line. Asking once, fine. Asking twice? It would bother me and shows she doesn't trust me. If the scents bother her that much than she needs to do quick drop off and pick ups or find a scent free dc.

I myself am scent sensitive (just get headaches) but can't imagine asking someone to not use scents in their own home!!! In this case, your home is a business she utilizes, if it's not matching her needs she needs to find another business, not expect you to change it for her. Self entitlement...expect ing you to change instead of fixing the problem herself.

I find it hard to believe her though if she stays 20 mins chatting....

[Fun&care]

Tough issue....I myself am sensitive to scents. I guess i will play devils advocate but I really, really hate perfumey/smelly stuff. I've also read articles that said indoor air fresheners are linked to a bunch of illnesses such as allergies, asthma etc...so I NEVER use air fresheners ever because I don't feel they are safe enough to use around kids nor are they really necessary and I choose to clean with natural cleaners. So maybe that's where this mom is coming from?

As for the salt issue I wonder if again it's just a matter of her feeling uncomfortable with her child coming into contact with chemicals. I don't necessarily blame her, although you can't be expected to clean up 24/7, salt is just a part of living in Canada in the winter.

[33 Daiseys]

yes i have, my room is painted a warm terracotta red, and is for the wee one's in playpens. a mom i interviewed last week, asked if i planned on changing the colour since red is linked to anger. Had parents say that they don't like a boy sleeping in a girls room, can i redecorate it to make it more gender neutral. had potential clients comment abut all the family photos, and how it will make their child uncomfortable since there won't be any picture of said child in the main part of the home( i do have random pic's of dkc in the playroom mind you).
this has been in the last 2 weeks, so i am very very sore about it, and am getting a bit tired of people not understanding that this is my home.
I never vent, and this is something that is very personal and a real sore spot. Sorry if it offended you