Terminating a family - Need some advice

[Sharonw]

Need to advice. I am considering terminating a family with two boys I take care of. I have given it a good month and half, with many problems especially with the older boy. He is autistic. I know this is normal autistic behavior: fails to listen to me, fails to obey my rules around the house, uses bad language and many other issues. I have tried many times to get him to listen and obey but he just doesn't. I am just plain exhausted and frustrated. I have spoken to the parents about this and they have tried to give me idea's on how to deal with him. The experience similar issues at home too. Do you think I would be right in terminating this family based on my experiences and complaints that I have? I have three children of my own and one other child I care for. I feel my relationship with them is suffering because all of my focus seems to be on this one child all the time. I am really unsure what to do. I do not want to put the parents in such a bind that they cannot find someone, especially when we are already near the end of October in the school year.

[Skysue]

Hi,

I have been there with a non-autistic child and I have to say I know how you feel.
If one child is taking you away from all the others then it isn’t fare to you or the others, period. As caregivers we need to be able to give equal time and energy to all plus a few breaks in between for ourselves to re-group.

I would tell the parents that they should possibly consider someone in there home for their autistic child? Or a center with people that know how to take care of their specific needs.

Don’t let your family or daily work environment suffer, you have given it a go and done the best job that you can do. For everyone’s best interest you need to be 100% honest with the parents in letting them know how to move forward?

How old is there autistic child?

[Sharonw]

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it very much. The autistic child is 7 years old.

[waterloo day mom]

Parently can get funding for individual support for the child. There are also programs designed specifically for children with autism. They should look into whether there is a local association or support group who can guide them.

[mom-in-alberta]

I would have to say that it is not the best environment for him or for you and your kids.
If he even somewhat requires that individualized care, then chances are he would qualify for funding. My nephew is on the lower ("high functioning") end of the spectrum and he has had in-home aides for 2 years now. They just recently deemed that as of January he no longer needs them.
That's not to say that a child with autism cannot have a place in a home daycare. But dealing with them requires a certain set of coping skills, which you are not necessarily expected to have.
Best of luck!!

[FS2011]

My advise would be in regards to your approach to terminating. Make it all about the needs of the child. Maybe provide them with a different child care model to follow, something occurring in your area...such as a child care specializing in special needs. Provide them with a letter explaining how you are not the right person to properly care for the child. Good luck!

[Sharonw]

Hi all! Thank you for all of your responses. YOur input has been very valuable. I had a better day with this child yesterday. HIs mom and dad had a good talk with him and he was better behaved yesterday. I have decided to give it one more week out of respect to the mom and dad making an effort to correct their son's behavior. The problem certainly is not the boy in general he is a very likeable little boy. The problem is my ability as a daycare provider to provide the attention he needs and required. I feel overwhelmed by what it takes to care for this boy. I have such a hard time making a decision in all of this because he is special needed and I don't want to brake his heart nor is parents when I decide to terminate the daycare arrangement. But I know I have to think of myself, my family, my children and the other kids I have here too. Anyhow....I will give it one more week out of respect to the parents.