Hitting :(

[flowerchild]

How does everyone handle hitting by a one year old? DCG is 18 months. She hits the other children if I'm interacting with them, she hits them when she's mad at them, she hits them when she's frustrated, and most recently she's starting hitting them when she's told no or lightly reprimanded. ie. she'll pick up something she shouldn't, I'll say "no thanks, DCG. We don't touch that", she'll frown, walk over to another child and hit them. Sometimes when she's frustrated she will hit herself. Now, she's 18 months old, so it's not hard hitting and it is clearly a way of expressing herself because she's not very verbal yet, but I'm trying to figure out how to address this since I can't have her hitting everyone all day long.

When it first started a few months ago, I would remind her to have "gentle hands" and show her a gentle touch. Now, I will take her hands, look her in the eye, and say "no hitting" and have her say sorry/give a hug. If she's sitting on my lap with another child and she hits them, I tell her "no hitting" and put her down. She cries. I give it a minute and ask if she'd like to try again without hitting. I pick her up and we continue the story without any hitting. I've been thinking about having a consistent consequence when she hits, but should the consequence for hitting out of malice be the same for hitting because she feels frustrated?

TIA!

[Lee-Bee]

This was my daughter, she's 23months now and it is dooooooo much better. Give words to her feelings, do the usual 'hands down' etc but also give words for later use. You look frustrated, angry, sad etc.

It's so tough because while they dont do it out of malice you can't ignore it. My daughter had an in between phase where she would hit when frustrated or overwhelmed but knew she shouldn't so would stop herself then give a hug right away. It was progress lol. Anyways, be clear and consistent tell her you understand she is angry but you can't let her hurt others. Move her out of the way if needed.

Hugs worked wonders for my daughter when she was experiencing major emotions and couldn't handle them I could prevent a lot by kneeling and asking if she needed a hug when I sensed she was going to lose control.

It doesn't happen much at all anymore she either just comes fir a hug, or like this morning when she didn't get her way she left the room crying, coming back twice to say 'sad' lol. She gad the words for what she was feeling and opted to just go for a wander while crying before regrouping herself to come back. Now that is progress!!

[flowerchild]

Thanks for your reply.

I have been giving words to her feelings as well, so I will keep doing that. It's just so interesting because it isn't the typical "lose control" that you normally see. She's so calm about it. There is a frown on her face, but there isn't screaming/crying/etc. The only time there are tears are when I set her down off my lap for hitting.

For the most part, I figure this is a phase that will end, but I was curious if anyone had any magical solutions. :P