End of week 1 for new boy..looking for input please!

[kindertime]

Bright Sparks,

Wow, sounds like you have your work cut out for you. In my 10 yrs. doing home daycare, I have had a couple of kids like this. If Grandma is with you on this, then yes, of course put a plan down in writing. Maybe take the week-end and give it to her Monday.

Have been putting anything in writing yet? I ask, because for me, often that helps to focus my concerns. If you keep a small pad with you, or close by all day, take note of the little things you notice, behaviour, eating, words, interactions, etc. Do the behaviour issues get worse when Grandma/stepdaughter is there? For me, that's a red flag.

Keeping these kind of notes, might help with your letter to Grandma. If you only have 22 weeks left, you might want to prioritize your plan. The self-help skills needed for potty training come before the potty. Can't pee in the toilet if you can't pull your pants down.

If Grandma is truly "onboard" you might want to set down some rules (if you don't already) about pick up and drop off. For example, Grandma isn't allowed to take off or put on ANY of his clothes in your house. What she does at home you can't control. So, this way, YOU are the only one interacting with him at these times. She can obviously say good bye, hug, kiss, wave, whatever she wants in that regard. Also, is there a specific pick up time? If so, you might try starting to get him ready early. I have had to do this too. If you treat your teaching of him like he's a toddler and not a 3.5 yo, you might have some luck. Hand over hand, simple words and don't hesitate to use the other kids to help "teach." Know-it-all 4year olds are the BEST at this!! lol

As for lunch time, I totally agree, that can be frustrating. It seems to me it was a behaviour more than an appetite or taste thing. I try not to let this kind of thing bother me. (I said try, right, not succeed? lol) If he gets junk food at home, there's nothing you can do about that either. I just put the food in front of them and if they don't eat, well, that's their choice.

And, in closing, if you're not tired of me yet, I have found that Grandparents often let the children get away with more that the parents would. I know in this case the parents are not in the picture but there might be a lot of guilt and possibly shame there. Is this Mom's mom, or Dad's? That might make a difference too.

If you come up with a plan, she might be relieved to have some guidance from you, a professional. Also, do you have services in your area for children in need? In Quebec, we have the CLSC. You could get their contact info and give it to her in the letter. She could contact them for help after he leaves your care.

Hope some of that helps!