Quote Originally Posted by Suzie_Homemaker View Post
I think you were right to be annoyed BUT men don't have a crystal ball!!

Just because you know if it was the other way round, you would be jumping in to help, that doesn't mean he's entirely to blame for not acting how you wanted him to act but you hadn't told him what you expected. LOL

I think women are the biggest own enemy. We met a great guy, we want to look like we have our stuff together, so we work our jobs and run our homes super smooth to show how great we are. Then we get married. We keep working full time outside the house and doing the house stuff because we always have and sometime we get grumpy because we want him to see we don't' stop but we huff and puff and don't actually use our words and speak in simple sentence.

At that place we should tell him that : Hey - we both work FT and we both work hard. Can we renegotiate the division of labour for tasks at home cause I'm drowning in all I'm trying to do and I'm getting a bit resentful when if feels like you are sitting resting up after work yet I'm still running around."

But we never say it. Sometimes when he says what is wrong, we say nothing and he believes us. Who is fault is that? His for believe or us for not saying?

Then we have babies and stay home so we feel we do the house stuff and he work outside the house and is a bit fairer until we go back to work again. And so it goes and so it goes.

Stop pretending like it is all good. But both of you to blame not just him for not magic reading your mind or not seeing situation like a women does.

Tell him that you need help. Not just sometimes but on-going cause you both work a lot, and you both parents of the children and everyone makes mess not just one person so why is one person doing it.

Tell him you need to renegotiate so both have some home jobs not just one person and then give specific jobs each. And leave him to do so. So what if he buys different grocery brand then you. Give him the job but you have to not be control over his task and accept that he does his task his way not your way.

But he cannot be blamed for not doing something he didn't know you needed him to do.

That unfair. And don't be resentful if he doesn't think like you - he is different person. His brain is not mapped to your brain.

But don't look at other people list like above. This is not a competition of how much my husband does comparing to how much your husband does or her husband does. That is foolish.
Someone else agreement with partner is someone else's agreement and not business of any other. Figure out what suits you two not what others say suited them.
I never put a list of what my husband does in order to be in competition with anybody, nor did the other ladies I am sure. I was just trying to show that other working mothers out there have husbands that help more, so it is okay for her to ask for more. She posted a list of what her husband does, and what she does. Nobody here is being foolish, just trying to encourage and support.