And so the cycle goes...Health and Wellbeing

[bright sparks]

Thank you for sharing you struggles. It takes courage to list all your issues in public, even if this is an "anonymous" forum. I also have weight issues that I can't seem to wrap my head around. And although my experiences with anxiety are limited, (not serious enough for meds.) I can speak from experience that mental illness has an effect on your body physically.

Do you have access to counseling for your PTSD? I think you were right when you said,

"It is hard to talk about any psychological issues with friends because they can not comprehend that having PTSD is way more complicated than just choosing to change and I just can not hear that anymore."

It might be helpful to seek out a professional. Just chatting about it probably isn't going to get you what you need.

I went to therapy until very recently (Nov '14) for nearly 5 years. I believe I have learnt as much as I can from therapy for now. I am a completely new person and I am a lot better. When I discuss my growth with my husband, a repressor, he is almost brought to tears over the difference. I'm no longer convinced that PTSD will ever go away. I have decided to carve out an hour a week for self care in other ways where my past doesn't get the spotlight. My PTSD origins do not need to be hashed out anymore. I have been taught many ways to manage it and as I deal with all these other areas of my personal life, I will continue to heal and grow comfortable in my skin. I have to start making actual changes to improve my quality of life and manage my past which will always be with me. I have only spoken openly about PTSD for the last year and it still makes people super uncomfortable and that how could I possibly have it when men and women are going to war. Also saying I have PTSD in this industry is potentially damaging to my career. Peoples misunderstandings has them jump to many conclusions which while I can understand, is generally unnecessary should they possess the facts.I am trying to get people talking in the hopes of educating people as well as realizing that it is nothing that I should be ashamed about.

I hope to let my experiences help others, hence why I am going to do my degree in Psychology along with Sexuality Studies in September. I want to support and advocate for those who do not have someone fighting for them in their corner, like I didn't. My greatest suffering will be my greatest strength in helping others. If I can get a handle on this eating issue and not let weight loss be at the forefront of my mind constantly day in and day out, I can only begin to imagine what extra potential I will have.