Cheap parents

[kindertime]

I have been pretty lucky with gifts from DCP, they have all been very considerate. I did have one mom, that worked 1/2 days a lot (split shifts), and I used to have a half day rate, but it worked out that she would pick up right before lunch, and always say how good lunch smelled. then one day she asked her boy if he just wanted to stay for lunch (yes he did) next thing she asks for some. I was a little taken of guard, but also flattered that she wanted my cooking (my kids, well you know, they act like I'm trying to pioson them) anyways this started to become a bit of a habit, so I started to serve the more "kid friendly" stuff, think she wont want that....she did! then she admits "I would rather eat here, its cheaper for me then going out" and that was the end of that, and the end of the half day rate.
talking about bad gifts though, one year, my MIL (ex MIL now) gave me her used kinky lingere for my birthday!!!!It was a set of crotchless panties and a nipple-less bra.......Oh, I know they were hers, because she said "They don't fit me anymore, so I thought you could have fun with them"

OMG!!! Best story ever. I'm still laughing!!! I think I would prefer the used tube of tanner than have that image rolling around my brain. You made my day, thanks for sharing.

[3rdtimesacharm]

So how is giving teachers gifts at Christmas time any different than a daycare provider?? Apart from the fact they they would receive 30 gifts opposed to 5.... I think these professions are viewed similarly in regards to a small token of appreciation. Again, it is NOT the dollar amount, but, like mentioned here before, a simple cards with some kind words etc. I think a large number of students, especially in younger grades don't think twice about a teacher's gift, and from my experience it is the norm to do the same for a daycare provider.

[3rdtimesacharm]

MsBell: that is a riot!!! And gross!! Did she honestly you would feel sexy wearing something she wore intimately with your (ex) FIL??? Barf!! Thanks for the laugh!!

[Emma H]

So how is giving teachers gifts at Christmas time any different than a daycare provider?? Apart from the fact they they would receive 30 gifts opposed to 5.... I think these professions are viewed similarly in regards to a small token of appreciation. Again, it is NOT the dollar amount, but, like mentioned here before, a simple cards with some kind words etc. I think a large number of students, especially in younger grades don't think twice about a teacher's gift, and from my experience it is the norm to do the same for a daycare provider.

EXACTLY! I remember as a child my mom would get my teachers something every year for Christmas. People do this to show appreciation to the one person who looks after the most precious gift in their lives. No one said they expected anything or that they do this job because they expect gifts. The whole point in this thread is that the women got a bottle of used tanning lotion and people are attacking her HOW DARE YOU EXPECT GIFTS...calm down ....If money was an issue I'm pretty sure there is a dollar store that sells card for a buck..

[bright sparks]

So how is giving teachers gifts at Christmas time any different than a daycare provider?? Apart from the fact they they would receive 30 gifts opposed to 5.... I think these professions are viewed similarly in regards to a small token of appreciation. Again, it is NOT the dollar amount, but, like mentioned here before, a simple cards with some kind words etc. I think a large number of students, especially in younger grades don't think twice about a teacher's gift, and from my experience it is the norm to do the same for a daycare provider.

Thing to consider is that a new mum comes to daycare and drops of child, sometimes another parent drops off at the same time, sometimes not so they don't see what is brought into daycare and what isn't. A lot of parents go to school to drop off child, especially in kindergarten. They see other parents and kids at large showing up with gifts. This reinforces the norm and tradition of giving teachers gifts. Also teachers gifts are marketed and advertised whereas daycare provider...well maybe occasionally hallmark will have a specific card for daycare, but it isn't common and wont jump out at someone. These are significant reasons why it is not always the norm to gift daycare providers. And norms are at least in the GTA a lot less generalized with the high population of immigrants coming in daily. Culture differences effect whether someone thinks to give a gift or send nice words. I am happy if a parent follows their contract and pays me on time. Anything else is an extra.

I think there is a huge amount if not the majority, and more so in the younger grades, of kids who do NOT even think about teacher gifts. It is a parent thing, we have set those standards. My kids have certainly never ever asked me to buy a teachers gift. I am pretty sure for me it was the first Xmas that my daughter was in JK where I saw parents dropping off gifts in the morning and I have gone out that day and bought something to gift at pick up. For me I would have never have bought a teachers gift at Xmas and the end of the year. I would send in a card naturally to thank a teacher for their hard work at the end of the school year, especially if my child was not going to have that teacher again, but I would to anyone who went above and beyond. It's kind of like the mandatory tipping of any service, primarily in the hospitality industry. If a service provider of any kind goes above and beyond then in my mind they deserve a tip but just doing a great job as you have employed them to do so, why the obligatory tip or gift? I have never understood it but that is because I am coming from a very different country where this kind of gift giving and tipping is done completely different. Yes I understand servers make less money, but that isn't my fault and shouldn't be my job to make up for. Shitty service, shitty tip= no tip. I think we should not have any expectations, then if we are given something like a POS crotchless pantie set lol or a bottle of tanner we can laugh it off and not feel so hard done too. I think it takes years to get to this though, after all we are human and those norms I speak of with regards to teachers and their annual stack of gifts, can sometimes poison minds. Only I can make me happy...stuff doesn't last very long. My favourite gifts are the cards including heartfelt words...even more so than the weeks wage someone has given me for a Xmas gift. That letter will be something I can look at time and time again knowing that the particular parent took the time to write me kind words of gratitude and appreciation, but it doesn't mean the person who gave me nothing isn't as equally appreciative.

[bright sparks]

EXACTLY! I remember as a child my mom would get my teachers something every year for Christmas. People do this to show appreciation to the one person who looks after the most precious gift in their lives. No one said they expected anything or that they do this job because they expect gifts. The whole point in this thread is that the women got a bottle of used tanning lotion and people are attacking her HOW DARE YOU EXPECT GIFTS...calm down ....If money was an issue I'm pretty sure there is a dollar store that sells card for a buck..

Nobody attacked her Emma we just gave our different opinions. That is how this forum works, we don't need to agree, we are allowed to object, it's how we learn and grow by gaining perspective from other peoples opinions. Also how a thread starts out can naturally focus more closely on some areas than others. I think the OP came on here for opinions and that is what she got. If you don't like a response then ignore it, but you don't need to be defensive if you don't like what's said. I also don't recall anyone saying "HOW DARE YOU EXPECT GIFTS"

[Emma H]

Christmas is a time for giving ...If I had a child I don't need some advertisements to show me that I should buy my child's teacher or daycare provider a gift. Its something people do to show that person they appreciate them for the hard work they do. It doesn't have to be an item it can be a card which you stated yourself even though you didn't think to buy your childs teacher a gift you would still get a card...A card is a gift...a candy cane is a gift....it doesn't have to be anything be just a little something to say thank you

[5 Little Monkeys]

I mentioned the teachers because for me, I would not be able to give to one teacher and not the others (sometimes children have multiple staff or staff they are closer too than just their main teacher) it is easier to just give to none. Lots of parents did this in the centres I worked at. Some would give individual gifts to the staff their child was with or had a special connection too, some gave group gifts but more often than not, parents gave nothing.

I don't think anyone is attacking anybody! Just because we have different opinions or can see more than one side to it, doesn't mean attacking is going on. (Lol, just read your response bright, was typing at same time)

Bright, I agree with you in regard to tips and I was even in the restaurant environment for years...my family owned one.

[Fun&care]

EXACTLY! I remember as a child my mom would get my teachers something every year for Christmas. People do this to show appreciation to the one person who looks after the most precious gift in their lives. No one said they expected anything or that they do this job because they expect gifts. The whole point in this thread is that the women got a bottle of used tanning lotion and people are attacking her HOW DARE YOU EXPECT GIFTS...calm down ....If money was an issue I'm pretty sure there is a dollar store that sells card for a buck..

This is how I was raised too. My sons teacher and bus driver always get a little something for Christmas, and at the end of the school year too (even though they are already paid for their service!) Usually 10-15$ gift card and a card to say thank you. It just seems natural-they spend a lot of time with my child and they are providing a service that, to me, deserves to be appreciated and acknowledged above and beyond a pay cheque.

I don't expect gifts, but Ill be honest and say that I think very highly of people who take the time to show they appreciate the service I am providing.

[MsBell]

I am happy to share my "bad gift" moment with everyone, and yes, lets just say, I was so NOT in the mood for a long time after that one lol
One of my favourite gift was just this Christmas, one of me 3yr olds gave me a lip balm, melon flavour, (winter is hard on me, I get dry skin and chapped lips), the best was when I unwrapped it she says "I got you melon, you must like melon, cuz you give it us all the time, and its not my favourite" hehe, actually I'm cheap...melon goes a long way