So some of you may remember that I had a 3.5 dcb start with me 4 weeks ago who is significantly delayed. He is with me until school starts in September in the hopes of getting him socialized and caught up as much as possible.

So last week I had a telephone conversation with Nana about some of my observations. Primarily that he doesn't eat, he does not ever verbalize his needs, and that he becomes agitated and very clearly anxious when food is presented to him. He shrieks and displays stims when he is visibly and obviously stressed about doing something he doesn't want to do even if it is not a request to do something that any typical kid would show resistance to. I thought it might be a good idea to pay a visit to the family dr and she agreed as he was due a development check. So how frustrating when Nana comes this morning and the family dr has said he is absolutely fine and not to worry about anything. He did not offer any advice what so ever or offer any resources to help with any of the issues, another big one being that he is not toilet trained, and isn't even psychologically ready to.

I may not be considered a "professional" when it comes to child development, but lets be clear, a family doctor isn't an expert either hence the name "general practitioner" and to be able to establish that a child is absolutely fine even when being presented with x amount of information and meeting with that child for all of 10 minutes really isn't adequate or accurate IMO. I was hoping for a referral to a paediatrician at the very least for more in depth assessment but apparently this child is absolutely fine.

I've done all I can and fortunately he is a great kid, no behavioural issues that are disruptive and having had experience with children on the spectrum I have found some ways to work with his specific needs which seem to be having a positive impact so far. With no professional support for him though, I pray that his Nana will still send him to JK even though he probably won't be toilet trained, because at least then they will flag him and get him help. If she with holds sending him, I fear that things will escalate making it more difficult to help him as he gets older. Hopefully these are just delays that being at school will no longer be an issue with the right support versus an actual condition which left unattended to could turn into a much greater problem.

Out of curiosity, has anyone ever toilet trained a child with any kind of learning disability or special need? I'm not talking about a stubborn child or one going through some behavioural issue which would be considered normal 2 and 3 year old behaviour. I'm more interested in how people approach toilet training when a child's mental capacity to do so is outside of the norm. I want to help him, but he's like a 1 year old when it comes to this. I have 2 who will be training in May/June aged 2y 4 mths and I'm going to be using potties so I am hoping that this will be something he will be willing to try but he doesn't have any initiative to even pull his pants down. I've been making him do it for diaper changes, pull down and pull up after. The 2 year olds who I have never asked once to do this, now do it automatically because they are mirroring it, but 3.5 dcb just looks at me with a blank expression and has to be repeatedly told. He stands in front of me and I have to constantly cheer him on to do it just to keep him focused and his attention to what is going on. Even then, he can not pull his pants up over his bum...ever, and pull down is only 50% of the time successful. We have been at this for 3 weeks and I will continue, but this is just one small aspect of training and a skill he must have prior to starting and at his age, this should be something he gets quickly. (((sigh))) I could go on and on about things toilet training related and otherwise. I'm not a fan of comparing kids, and having my own son who is now 12 but who was delayed in speech I try to keep an open mind, but when my 18 mth old dcg can do all the things he can not, it's hard not to see his delays as even more significant.

I'm just going to keep on trying.