Issues with my daughter and a dcb

[flowerchild]

In terms of the conversation with dcm, I wasn't there to hear it, but it sounds like she told you what happened, you apologized for it, said you'd speak to your daughter about it, and asked her to encourage her son to tell you about it when it happens so you can deal with it immediately. Aside from that, what else could you have said? Was there something else that she was expecting you to do?

In terms of your daughter's behaviour, I also do what Amanda suggested and have them "try again". So, if my child or one of the daycare children are speaking to me rudely, I'll say "let's try that again" and they know to say it again, but politely without attitude. If it continues, they can go to another room and come back when they are ready to speak nicely. And if she continues to try to engage, ignore the behaviour. She'll soon figure it out.

Another thing I use is "when/then" statements "when you are dressed, then I'll know you are ready to play" or "I'd be happy to answer that question once you've finished getting dressed" etc. In another words, B doesn't happen until A is finished or nothing else happens until what you've asked is done. My daughter missed breakfast the other day because she refused to get dressed. By the time she decided to get dressed, breakfast was finished and all cleaned up. Was she mad? Hell yeah. But did she get dressed the next time right away? Yep.

It's hard, but refuse to be pulled into engaging with her. She's four. She's able to dress herself and do what you ask. You've asked her to get dressed. That's the end of it. By engaging with her (constant reminders/coaching/begging/encouraging etc) you are giving her what she wants - attention. When she sees that she won't get attention from you, the battle will have lost it's purpose and will stop.

I hope that helps. It's hard. Consistency is key and it's something I think we all struggle with sometimes. Good luck!