I know exactly how u feel!!!! I have two great longtime tikes here. But both r going on mat leave. Can't hold their spot so ill lose them. It is so heart breaking. But our family comes first. Honestly everyone always thinks of themselves. Even these great families can disappoint us if a better offer comes along and drop us like a hat. Think of your fam and do what u have to. Stay in touch with the littles. Youll still see them around. It's ok. You'll gets through it and get new ones to love for 3-4 yrs .