House Rules

[3rdtimesacharm]

I currently have a group of 2 x1 year olds, 2 x2 year olds, and 2 x3 year olds. They are full of fun, imaginative play, they are adorable to watch play. However, I find myself reminding them of simple house rules 10-15 times a DAY. Things like jumping on the couch, standing on the couch, jumping/standing on my large ottoman, playing inside the sliding mirror front hall closet, going into MY bedroom and jumping on MY bed!! They just don't get it. I am by no means 'gentle' in reminding them of these very basic house rules, but I feel like a broken record! I have one 3 year old girl who is constantly sucking on my kids' toothpaste, playing with their toothbrushes whenever she is using the bathroom.
Am I missing something here? After 5 years of daycare I have never had such a group blatantly ignore the sound of my voice such as this group.
Am I expecting too much a group of little ones? Mind you, I am not talking about the 1 year olds, they are not quite as mobile to get in as much trouble as the others!
Another big one- I have never allowed drinks out of the kitchen area. Everyday someone takes their sippy from the counter and leaves it to drip on the carpet, of on my train table, or hidden in a bookcase.
I gave dcg a time out yesterday when I caught her doing this, but a few hours later, she takes her cup, tucks it under her arm and wandered through the toy room.
Besides keeping drinks in the fridge so they don't have free access to them, does anybody have some advice in regards to my 'not-so-hard-to-understand House Rules!? Thanks!!

[Lee-Bee]

Sounds like a firm voice means nothing (or your not as firm as you think!). Set consequences. take something away when they do the above. They take the cup out of the kitchen then they have to miss out on the next activity (not a fan of withholding food or water which would be the natural consequence). They lick your child's toothpaste (how odd is that) then they have to go sit in a highchair for a bit, with a seat belt because they are clearly not acting old enough to be free in the house. At 3yrs old they are darn well old enough to understand their actions. Obviously the 1yr olds are not (and depends on the 2 yr olds).

Anyways...they clearly need more than words now...make them 'suffer' some sort of result for their disobeying. It will take time though...and you'll have to enforce every. single. time. until they catch on. But, it doesn't sound like a couple weeks of playing hard ball will be more effort than having to be a broken record for such common sense expectations!

Also, while these expectations sound so normal to us, many kids have free reign at home and really don't have the knowledge that these behaviors aren't actually acceptable. They just haven't been trained to behave!

[Gloucestermom]

Do you have the rules posted somewhere? I had 2 x4 year olds this summer, and even though they couldn't read, I put up all the house rules on a piece of bristol board in the playroom. I had to remind them a lot, and pretty soon they knew the rules by number! I would say 'we eat only at the table' and one of them would pipe in 'yeah, that's rule number 4!'

[flowerchild]

One method I've used with my older kids is that if I can't trust them to follow the rules, then I need them to stay by my side so I can keep them safe. This means sitting on a chair in the kitchen while I make lunch instead of playing with the other kids, holding on to the stroller during walks instead of walking in front with the others, not going to play until I have finished cleaning up and can go too etc. They whine and complain but I explain that it's my job to keep them safe and if I can't trust them to follow the rules (which are there to keep them safe) then they have to stay with me so I can keep them safe. Basically a complete loss of all freedoms and privileges.

I'm not sure what your house set-up is like, but one thing that I've done was gate off my entryway from the rest of the main floor. I had to get one of those long, extendable gates, but after the first week it had paid for itself at least twice. Kids couldn't come in and run on my carpet with their boots and dirty shoes. They couldn't play in my hall closet. They couldn't access the stairs or the upstairs of my house which is off limits to daycare. They couldn't dig through each others bags while I wasn't looking. They couldn't smash on the glass of the screen door. And best of all, it stopped kids from running from their parents at pick up time. When the parents arrived, I would just scoop them up and put them down on the other side of the gate. Would you be able to gate off parts of your house that they aren't supposed to go in?

[flowerchild]

Forgot to add that I have had times where I feel like I'm talking to a wall and that no one listens to me when I speak. It is super frustrating.

[kindertime]

I'm not sure what your house set-up is like, but one thing that I've done was gate off my entryway from the rest of the main floor. I had to get one of those long, extendable gates, but after the first week it had paid for itself at least twice.

Yes, gates, and more gates. The year of toddlers, as I like to call it, was also my year of the biter. It was brutal, anyway, I got through it with gates. I put in three new gates that I have since taken back out. One for the playroom, one for the hallway to the bedrooms and one around the change table. I also had to move the change table into the livingroom. There were so many diaper changes each day with that group, I couldn't spend the whole day in the other room. They came with me everywhere as a group and when they couldn't all come, they were segregated behind gates. I bought one of those play-yard gates. Its got 6 pieces that snap together and apart and stands alone. It is bigger than a playpen when closed up and can be opened out to be a long gate.

Took me a long time to learn, but I have come to realise that when this kind of thing is going on, it is usually up to me to change. Yes, they may know the rules and aren't following, but you are the adult. Yes, consequences are good for bad behaviour, but what can you do first thing tomorrow to prevent the bad behaviour? I like to keep everyone busy (idle hands...) Sometimes all it takes is giving everyone a 4" piece of masking tape! If you have it, the blue painting kind that doesn't stick so much. Maybe move the furniture in the kitchen out of the way and throw kleenexes in the air to catch. If (and when) they get ripped, just sweep. Or, get the kids to sweep!

I have my books separated out. My shelves are the "rippable" books that I read at circle and their book shelf has mostly board books. For something special, I will tell everyone to go pick a book from their shelf. Most of those books they have never heard me read. Do something special and unexpected.

When I had the 5 toddlers, 4 of them were in highchairs/boosters. So a lot of the special things we would do were sitting down. Where everone was contained. Their favorite thing to do when I was making lunch was to scream. In fact, they didn't want to play when I was in the kitchen, they wanted to be with me. And they wanted to scream. I don't mean whine or cry, just see who could scream the loudest. I let them. I got ear plugs. No one was biting or fighting and they loved it. Lasted the whole year. Then two of those kids left in August. The first day with a new child in September, the oldest of the toddlers, who had just turned 3 and who had been one of the loudest screamers, said "shhhh" to the new kid. Then no more screaming from that day on. So weird....

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I understand that it might be layout but sound like your day care kids have run of house?

We use living room and powder room. No reason for child to be in my kitchen without me there, no reason for child to be in my bedroom without me there. No issue with drinks or bed jumping. Same for couches. If I see child climbing on couch I watching they sit on bums and not fall and I reminding to sit on bum if they not. They not get chance for feet on couch to jump on.

[3rdtimesacharm]

Yes our home is very open concept, bungalow with my children's room and our room adjoining the hall as well as the bathroom. The kitchen is in the middle of our house, with the livingroom (with a toy corner) at one end of house and a playroom on the other end. I can see kids wherever I am in house. Can't really block off any areas, we have tried it once with a 14' gate, but it was not very practical for our needs and we removed it.
Do you think I should send a letter out to all kids' parents asking that they help me out in enforcing these basic rules? Another poster mentioned that it may not be the norm at their home, they have free range and are simply not used to any boundaries, unlike at daycare. I don't know if I have a 'say' in how their kids act at their homes....know what I mean?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Before new parents start with me I send out a tip/suggestion page....it includes things like encouraging their child to get on/off child sized chairs, using child sized utensils, weaning from rocking/bottles from naps etc. I also have that I encourage no throwing of toys and no toys in mouth and ask that they encourage this at home as well. These are 2 of the biggest issues I have found in younger children that I like to curb quickly. Every now and then when someone is going through these phases I put a reminder in the monthly newsletter.

[kindertime]

Do you think I should send a letter out to all kids' parents asking that they help me out in enforcing these basic rules? Another poster mentioned that it may not be the norm at their home, they have free range and are simply not used to any boundaries, unlike at daycare. I don't know if I have a 'say' in how their kids act at their homes....know what I mean?

I think you're right, there's not much you can do about their home behaviour, and although it's not a bad idea to talk to parents about this, there isn't anything they can do about the kid's behaviour while in your care. You might just say you are looking for ideas about how to get them to follow rules. I like the idea of the rules board. I might actually try that too. Visiting the board several times in the day might help reinforce them.