Over sensitive - strategies to help.

[Lee-Bee]

I have a overly sensitive DCG. She is nearing 2.5yrs. She has been here for almost 1.5yrs, she has been very aware of other people's negative emotions from the start.

But I am looking for ways to help her "toughen up" so to speak. Today the toy box lid fell on my daughter, it hurt but she recovered after a quick hug. DCG, who was across the room on the other hand curled up in a ball bawling when this happened. If my daughter gets 'in trouble' for something completely unrelated to DCG, DCG girl will burst into a sobbing fit that continues long after my daughter is happily back to play.

Home greatly feeds into this, and home does everything they can to ensure this child doesn't so much as whimper (eats what she wants, stays up as late as she wants, doesn't have to go in the car when she doesn't feel like it etc etc). I think there is a strong internal component here and home is escalating it compounding how sensitive she is and will become.

I do not feed in to it. But, aside from giving little attention to her strong reaction to anything remotely negative I have no idea how to help this child. I will note she is entirely sleep deprived because she is rocked(possibly still nursed) to sleep and only sleeps 30min intervals and needs to be rerocked...the last month or so she has been up until 10:30-11pm having extra snacks and tv time (home blames the time change). I assume being sleep deprived does NOT help her bawling fits.

I see her entering kindergarten in 2 yrs and being completely overwhelmed by the 30 other kids emotions and internalizing it all...and just not surviving!

Now, she isn't 100% sweet and innocent by any means and she plays victim often. But she clearly needs to learn how to deflect some of what is going on around her.

Any suggestions? Similar experiences?

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have an almost 2 yo dcb who is somewhat similar. He is very sensitive compared to the others. If another child is "in trouble" or if I even raise my voice at all, he cries!! Like your dcg, he cries louder and longer than the child who is in timeout or being spoken too lol. I have always just dealt with the other child and than I turn to him and say, "you are fine. You are not in trouble. You need to stop crying". He's been here since last June and I definitely have seen improvement!!! He will now sometimes whimper or start to cry but I usually just have to give him "the look" and he stops haha. He still cries when he is the one in trouble but even that has decreased and is not a full on cry anymore, just a pouty face and a few tears. I don't think he is overly babied at home but is an only child so a few things they have said happens at home does surprise me as he's not like that at dc (for example, at home nap is a disaster but here he is sleeping before I even get upstairs...he drinks from a bottle in the morning still but not here at all) He is a very sweet, gentle child but that also means that the other kids step all over him!! I am always encouraging him to tell the others "no" if they take his toy or push him around. He's getting better!

[ebhappydc]

I had similar dcg a few years ago, and yes school was quite an adjustment. When she was here the constant situations were nerve wracking to listen to with all the crying so I feel for you I was glad she went off to JK (I had her for a year only). Lucky for your dcg to have some stability/boundaries in your home as it sounds like homelife is quite dysfunctional. Unlucky for you to have to deal with. Takes a while for kids to toughen up, they are high maintenance.

[Lee-Bee]

She is a sweet, cute kid. For the most part our days are smooth. She doesn't try to get away with much here because she knows the boundaries and she doesn't like my standing firm. The part that grates me is knowing she is essentially being set up to have a difficult life later. It will be a huge reality check once in school. I suppose she had a good taste of it from being here, but it will be hard. Then to top it off with the poor sleep habits it is just frustrating. She spent the morning telling me she was tired and asking for bed, then fell asleep at the lunch table. Gahhhhhh.

[Fun&care]

I had a DCB like this too. Cried louder and longer than the one in trouble/ hurt. I didn't find there was much I could do. For a while, he had improved, but when mom went on mat leave and his attendance dropped to one day per week, it got bad all over again. I actually decided to terminate him because it was just too much. He was the only daycare child I ever had who genuinely seemed to really not like it here at all. He had bad separation anxiety from the start too. He really seemed like one of those kids who may not be a good fit for daycare at all. Some kids just don't thrive in this environment, mind you who knows maybe in a new daycare he will do awesome. I know that he was babied at home and given constant attention from mom and dad and that defitenetely played a part.

I can't believe your clients are rocking a 2.5 year old to bed! That is absurd! I wonder what would happen if she went to bed at a normal time with no disruptions...I bet it would make a HUGE difference! I would be tempted to have a serious convo with the parenst about it!

[Lee-Bee]

I had a DCB like this too. Cried louder and longer than the one in trouble/ hurt. I didn't find there was much I could do. For a while, he had improved, but when mom went on mat leave and his attendance dropped to one day per week, it got bad all over again. I actually decided to terminate him because it was just too much. He was the only daycare child I ever had who genuinely seemed to really not like it here at all. He had bad separation anxiety from the start too. He really seemed like one of those kids who may not be a good fit for daycare at all. Some kids just don't thrive in this environment, mind you who knows maybe in a new daycare he will do awesome. I know that he was babied at home and given constant attention from mom and dad and that defitenetely played a part.

I can't believe your clients are rocking a 2.5 year old to bed! That is absurd! I wonder what would happen if she went to bed at a normal time with no disruptions...I bet it would make a HUGE difference! I would be tempted to have a serious convo with the parenst about it!

There is no convincing this family to change. I came to terms long ago they do things there way and I do things mine AND they don't need to know details on my way. Their child sleeps here, they know it, they don't need to know the process in how that came to be. They don't ask, I don't tell. I have, many times, sent home long details strategies on how to aid their child to sleep at home (at their request) every single time they made a half attempt then stopped per the child's demand. It's on them. According them I am the only person their child sleeps for without motion. They either rock her or drive her. Yep… their routine for all naps was to drive, in circles, for hours ever day. Not sure if they still do that, I don't care to know. I explained at one point when they asked that a child rocked to sleep cannot sleep past one sleep cycle because they wake confused as to why they are no longer being rocked. And that by rocking in the first place means they haven't learned to put them self to sleep. Makes sense to me… but wasn't what they wanted to hear.

[torontokids]

Just out of curiosity...you chose to close your daycare and keep just one kid, why is this the kid/family you chose to keep???